[extropy-chat] Effective relationships

[Brent Neal]

On Nov 5, 2006, at 22:29, spike wrote:

> I have personally witnessed an apparent three-way relationship.  A  
> friend
> married while we were still in college, took up a one-bedroom  
> apartment
> across the street.  A mutual friend of theirs, female, was always  
> visiting
> over at their place, and eventually was living with them.  Of  
> course there
> was some curiosity as to whether he was actually sleeping with both  
> women,
> but no one asked.  Perhaps we were not sure we wanted to hear the  
> answer.
> Within a year he had moved out and the women stayed together in that
> apartment.  Again, no one asked and no one volunteered any info.  I  
> don't
> see how that arrangement could possibly work long term, but I  
> recognize my
> deplorable lack of imagination when it comes to human relationships.


I had a prof in college who lived in a stable triad, and had for  
almost a decade. Last I heard, they were still living that way,  
making their relationship almost 20 years old.

The opposite of data is anecdote. :)

But, I think Eliezer's comment on formation probabilities is  
insightful.  One thing that it well-known in the polyamory community  
is that the polyamory community is not well-known - that is, many  
people just don't know that there is a reasonably large group of  
people who eschew the traditional monogamous-dyad model of partnering  
and do not have the will to actively go against their cultural  
programming.  This, as I have seen in multiple cases (we've  
approached data here, not just anecdote...), does act as an inhibitor  
to the formation of stable polyamorous relationships.

If you want some statistics, the National Coalition for Sexual  
Freedom may have some survey results. It'd be interesting to see.

Brent


--
Brent Neal
Geek of all Trades
http://brentn.freeshell.org

"Specialization is for insects" -- Robert A. Heinlein