[ExI] The Australians With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

[BillK]

CANBERRA, Australia: - The new Labor Government is not wasting any
time with its Industrial Relations Policy. Already, it is considering
sweeping legislation which will provide new benefits for over ¾ of a
million Australians. The Australians With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is
being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions
of Australians who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Australians do not possess the competence and
drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in
society," said New Prime Minister Kevin Rudd. "We can no longer stand
by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With
this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special
favors to a small group of workers, simply because they hey have some
idea of what they are doing."

In a Parliamentary press conference, Deputy Prime Minister Julia
Guillard pointed to the success of the Australian Public Service,
which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without
regard to performance. Approximately 84 percent of it's employees lack
any job skills, making this agency the single largest Australian
employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination
against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry
(68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). At the state
government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has a great
record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under the Australians With No Abilities Act, more than ¼ of a million
"middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles
but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of
purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given,
to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that
promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into
middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and
medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for
every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNA Act contains tough new measures to make it more
difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example,
discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any skills or
experience which relate to this job?"

"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who
have something going for them," said Mary Gertzog, who lost her
position as a wheel-nut installer at the GM plant in Elizabeth, South
Australia, due to her lack of any discernible job skills. "This new
law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill,
Gertzog and hundreds of thousands of other untalented citizens will
finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Martin Ferguson: "As a Politician With No Abilities, I believe
the same privileges that elected officials enjoy, ought to be extended
to every Australian with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to
provide each and every Australian citizen, regardless of his or her
adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."
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This is an edited version of the American article from the Onion.
<http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/noabilities.asp>

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But as a serious point, this is the problem that individualistic
societies (like libertarianism) have to deal with.
What to do with the half of the population that are not go-getters,
human dynamos always striving towards greater and greater efforts?
Just throw them out of your creme-de-la-creme society?


BillK