[ExI] Mary Magdelene?/was Re: Iran's plan for their gay population

Emlyn emlynoregan at gmail.com
Sat Jun 6 13:49:37 UTC 2009


2009/6/6 Stefano Vaj <stefano.vaj at gmail.com>:
> 2009/6/5 painlord2k at libero.it <painlord2k at libero.it>:
>> Christians are bound to try imitate Christ.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/christ_kills_two_injures_seven_in

Christ Kills Two, Injures Seven In Abortion-Clinic Attack

HUNTSVILLE, AL–Jesus Christ, son of God and noted pro-life activist,
killed two and critically wounded seven others when He opened fire in
the waiting room of a Huntsville abortion clinic Tuesday.

Security guards at the Women's Medical Clinic of Huntsville were able
to disarm the Messiah before He could reload His weapon, a secondhand
Glock 9mm pistol that authorities said He purchased legally at a
Jackson, MS, sporting-goods store. "Abortion is a sin," said Christ as
He was led away in handcuffs. "It is an abomination in the eyes of
Me." Witnesses said the attack, which took the lives of Dr. Nelson
Woodring, 51, and clinic nurse Danielle Costa, 29, came from "out of
nowhere."

"He walked up to the admissions desk and asked if He could see Dr.
Woodring," receptionist Iris Reid said. "The next thing I knew, He was
shouting Biblical verses and opening fire on everything moving."

"It was horrible," said injured clinic nurse Jessica Combs, recovering
at a local hospital with bullet wounds to the leg and abdomen. "He put
his hands over Dr. Woodring's head and told him He forgave him for his
sins, and then He shot him right in the face." Huntsville police
officials are not certain how the Messiah was able to bypass clinic
guards and proceed undetected past security cameras and into the
clinic waiting room, where He produced the gun from its hiding place
in the folds of His robe. Federal investigators are similarly baffled,
saying that the heavily armed Christ had moved in "mysterious ways."

Speaking to reporters from His holding cell, Christ, 33, said He had
"no regrets" about what He had done.

"As I said in John 16:21, every life is precious," Christ said. "This
means every life, not just those who have already been born. My
father, the Lord, feels the same way I do. In Jeremiah 1:5, He said
unto the prophet Jeremiah, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew
you, before you were born I set you apart.' The unborn fetus is a
sacred, living creation of my Father in Heaven and should be treated
as such."

Added Christ: "What if the Virgin Mary had decided to abort me?
Certainly she must have been tempted to do so. After all, it wasn't
even her decision to conceive me in the first place. But in the end,
she made the right decision, bringing her pregnancy to term and giving
the world a Savior. Blessed is she among women." According to legal
experts, if convicted, Christ could face the death penalty.

"The state of Alabama has the death penalty, and this crime is
certainly the sort that would be construed as a capital offense,"
University of Michigan law professor Arthur Lipscomb said. "With the
right judge and jury, Christ could very well be put to death yet
again." In such a case, Lipscomb said, Alabama would likely use lethal
injection rather than crucifixion. Christ said He is unafraid of the
prospect of execution. "Those who know me know that I am willing to
die for the sins of others, whether those sins be avarice,
slothfulness, false idolatry or the butchering of unborn life," Christ
said. "The bottom line is, abortion stops a beating heart." Tuesday's
shooting is not Christ's first brush with the law. On April 8, 29, He
was arrested in the Roman province of Judea for alleged false claims
to the throne of the Kingdom of Israel. On Jan. 11, 1996, He and six
other pro-life activists were jailed for blocking the entrance to a
Cheektowaga, NY, abortion clinic. In October 1997, He was arrested for
plotting to mail anthrax-laced packages to two dozen abortion doctors
across the U.S. "Abortion is an abomination. It is a sin. It is
murder," Christ said. "I only did what any good Christian would have
done." Christ's followers have been overwhelmingly supportive of their
leader.

"As it says in Psalm 139:13-16, 'For You created my inmost being; You
knit me together in my mother's womb. My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body,'" said Ralph
Anson of the Houston-based Every Life Is Precious. "Those people at
that clinic were killers, and they deserved to die." "We may not
understand everything He does, but we must believe it is for the
best," said Rev. Joseph Abernathy, minister at First United Baptist
Church of Huntsville. "As Christians, it is not our duty to question
what our Savior does. We can only live according to His example."


-- 
Emlyn

http://emlyntech.wordpress.com - coding related
http://point7.wordpress.com - ranting
http://emlynoregan.com - main site


More information about the extropy-chat mailing list