[ExI] valentines day advice

spike spike66 at att.net
Sun Feb 7 04:37:34 UTC 2010

In the midst of all the heavy technical discussion of minds and
consciousness, do let me here interject a bit of useful advice for the lads
as we approach that emotional minefield known as Valentines Day.  Perhaps
you have already chosen a gift for your sweethearts, but this one can be in
addition to that, and will only cost you about 20 bucks.  It might even get
you a get-out-of-jail-free card for your next romantic screwup.

Buy your sweetheart a DVD of the Celtic Woman singing Songs From the Heart.
Take my word for it, me lads.  Then watch it with her.  Be prepared, for at
some time during the performance you can count on her asking some form of
the question "Which of them is the most beautiful?"  You will at that time
respond instantly with "You are, my dear."  This will likely be followed
with a less-than-fully-sincere version of "Bullshit, now which one?"  At
this time you must stick with your original story like a thrice conviced
felon caught with a smoking pistol in his hand, by uttering "All are
beautiful of course, but the radiance of your beauty exceeds them all, as
the noonday sun outshines the stars!"

We know of course that if measured at equal distance, perhaps as many as
half the stars do in fact outshine the sun, for the sensible radiation is
proportional to the inverse square of the distance.  This is a detail that
you and I can keep between just us lads, shall we?  Good.  

Practice the delivery until you can do it without dirisive laughter, on your
first (and only) try.  You can do it: I did, and I was making it up as I
went along.  But of course I benefit from many years of dedicated practice
at this sort of thing.  Hey, I too benefit from the inverse square law,
being no Rock Hudson myself.  You don't even lie, exactly: your own
sweetheart does in fact outshine even the stunning Lisa Kelly, assuming Lisa
is home in Ireland while you sit beside your sweetheart in say, Australia,
or Neptune.

Now get out there and buy that DVD, and practice your lines.  You have only
one chance at it.  Good luck!



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