[ExI] Buying Stock in Mormonism (was Re: The Existence of Jesus (FICTION))

[Kelly Anderson]

On Tue, Feb 7, 2012 at 7:14 PM, The Avantguardian
<avantguardian2020 at yahoo.com> wrote:
> In regards to your question of where I get my Mormon knowledge from, some
> of my best friends are Mormons. And to be honest, I admire Mormonism in many
> respects, its a young vibrant religion currently in its prime. Its dogma, while no
> less silly in my opinion than any others, has a lot of marketing appeal. Stuff like
> Jesus visiting the American continents, proxy baptism, premortal existence. So
> while I myself would never subscribe to Mormonism, if religions sold stock, I
> would certainly buy Mormon stock over say Catholic stock. Followers of the
> blond-haired blue-eyed prophet may be the best buffer America has against
> the followers of the warrior-prophet from the desert. They certainly are every bit
> as fertile when it comes to average number of children per family.

I would also buy stock in Mormonism. Not just for the reasons you
give, though they are excellent, but also because the strong
hierarchical nature of the church allows for it to adapt rapidly in
the face of change. It will be very hard for many religions to decide
when a cyborg can be welcomed into the fold and receive the benefits
of membership in the kingdom, but this won't be a problem for Mormons.
Whatever the prophet says, well, that's what goes. With the changes I
see coming over the next few decades, the Jehovah's Witnesses are
going to have to adapt their story to "See, we told you there would be
a paradise earth! and we're in it." The Mormons will just happily go
ahead because of the built in adaptation of having a living prophet
give revelation for current events. Other churches have to have
schisms, and reorganizations to get radically different belief systems
to fit new realities. So yes, I'm bullish on Mormonism. It's going to
be around for a long time. Probably longer than Homo Sapiens, if my
guess is right.

There are a lot of here and now benefits to being a member of the
church. The church welfare program, for one. The educational system
for another. The rich social network that predates Facebook by 150
plus years. While the big payoff may be in the next world, it's good
to be a Mormon. Except you have to believe a bunch of stuff that is a
bit silly. Though not one bit more silly than what any other religious
people believe.

> That being said, Mormonism is still a mind-virus. God is the unneccessary
> hypothesis. To know yourself and to know the universe *is* to know God because
> there is nothing else.

Agreed.

Now, for another point. The US electorate seems bound and determined
that their candidates for President will be lilly white and
unblemished by significant scandal. The Mormons tend to be able to
produce that sort of candidate. Does that mean that we can expect a
number of Mormon presidential candidates? I rather think so. And, if
Romney gets elected, which I think is in the realm of probability...
and he does a really good job... then there is no reason to doubt that
we might get another one someday.

I have a pet theory. Succinctly, that all presidential candidates have
recently selected a "life insurance" candidate for vice president.
Nobody in their right mind would assassinate George Bush Senior in
order to get Dan Quayle in the oval office. Gore instead of Clinton?
Cheney instead of Jr? Biden instead of Obama? (The last one may be a
little stretch, but my theory goes back a while. Of course Biden would
be pretty bad.)

So who does Romney have to nominate for vice president so that some
lunatic born again christian won't knock him off? How about John
Huntsman? LOL. It will be interesting to see who his "life insurance
policy" will be.

-Kelly