[ExI] xmas lyrics

[spike]

Those of us in the English-speaking world (and probably everywhere outside
the Middle East) are mind-raped this time of year by constant bombardment
with Christmas music.  It is hard to escape.  You know the words; you can't
help knowing them, you can't forget them even if you try.  Every year I
overthink the whole thing, hearing stuff in those lyrics.  My son took after
me.  When he was four and his two cousins were five and seven, they were
convinced one of the Christmas songs had a part about a zombie eating
people's faces.  In the middle of a quiet family discussion the three of
them suddenly shrieked in terror and fled from the room.  We learned the
bothersome part was that bit about Jack Frost nipping at your nose.  The
three California kids knew nothing of Jack Frost, but didn't want anyone
nipping at noses.

 

Others that I recall: that little drummer boy playing while ".the ox and
lamb kept time."  The questions that come to mind is what exactly were the
beasts doing to "keep time"?  And whatever it was (swaying to the beat?)
that in itself would be so freaky as to have me fleeing in terror.

 

Today I noticed yet another one in a song about a snowman who came to life,
played with the local kids and then went off downtown.  Things were
apparently going well enough until he encountered a cop, and only paused a
moment when he heard him holler stop.  Well OK then, but that is an
absurdity in itself, for cops don't holler stop.  Rather they holler FREEZE
motherfucker!  Assume the position, before I blow your ass off!

 

I will grant the absurdity of ordering a snowman to freeze, or referring to
anatomical features which are almost surely absent.

 

It seems every winter solstice season I stumble upon yet another logical
flaw in those lyrics I am forced to know.  Perhaps after today I will be
spared for another year.

 

spike

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.extropy.org/pipermail/extropy-chat/attachments/20141225/34336330/attachment.html>