[ExI] gnab gib
spike66 at att.net
Sat Jul 5 05:46:25 UTC 2014
OK so for the non-USians present, today was our annual celebration of American Independence, when we indulge in all the usual patriotic conniptions, enough to make one want to load up one’s smooth bore musket and shoot a redcoat. It is all great fun, but even the most hardcore USian knows it can get a bit monotonous, always the same thing: fireworks show, bombastic music and fiery patriotic speeches with the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air and so forth.
I just returned from the local show, where I had a cool idea.
In modern fireworks shows, the rockets are ignited electronically in a preset sequence, to stay synchronized with the music and the speech, both of which are pre-recorded, leaving nothing to chance. So imagine putting together the show, then playing the whole show backwards. Start out with the grand finale first, as Sousa’s Stars and Stripes Forever blasts out its dramatic piccolo and trombone coda in reverse, followed by fireworks growing farther apart and more lame as the music settles into the more sedate America the Beautiful played backwards, all while some incomprehensible szheep szhoop fleem blorsh babble comes over the speakers and puzzled audience members look at each other, from the oldest geezer to the smallest child asking the same question: whaaaat in the helllll???
Record the whole thing on a digital camera. Then before posting it on YouTube, you reverse the recording. Now the show is almost right: the music is right, the grand finale is back where it is supposed to be at the end with the lame fireworks first, the speech is perfectly understandable, but you now have all these fireworks doing strange things indeed. This could all be in the double reversed speech: “…and now we shall see a truly innovative show, as the clever pyro-technicians from gnaB giB demonstrate how they have created fireworks which converge from all parts of the sky into a point, then decelerate towards the earth, sucking up sparks and smoke, settling into their launch tubes…” Puzzled audience members make comments such as: ???llllleh eht ni taaaahw.
Wouldn’t that be fun and different?
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