[ExI] blue bug

spike at rainier66.com spike at rainier66.com
Sat May 5 16:19:45 UTC 2018



From: spike at rainier66.com <spike at rainier66.com> 


>…So.  What if… we breed a skerjillion of these guys (rolly pollys, not shrimp) … spike



No wait, better idea.


Domestic dogs were bred from wolves.  All breeds of dogs are the same species and are cousins (same genus) as modern timber wolves.  We can see the size span in dogs which have been bred downsize generally, but all the genes in modern dogs come from the wolf/dog common ancestor.  Stands to reason that one could start with a bunch of Chihuahuas and toy poodles and such, eventually breed them upsize to something with some dignity, ja?


So we could selectively breed armadillo bugs up to a size which would make them more meaty, ja?  Perhaps we would end up with something as big as the old-time trilobites (I suppose one needs to be as old as I am to even remember those things).  Perhaps they could be marketed as a crustacean treat so big it takes three bites to devour one.


No, wait, better still: we could play a terrific gag.  Get your camera ready, post a text… ends up with:


…beep boop boop… brrrrring…


911, what is the nature of your emergency?


That crazy bastard next door is breeding… giant… blue… CRUSTACEAN THINGIES!  They got loose and are going all over the goddam NEIGHBORHOOD!



Ten minutes later, the drug enforcement team is hauling him away in a straight jacket as he shrieks he is not stoned, there really are giant blue bugs and they are getting away, and so forth, such carrying on you never saw, until they taser his ass.   We video record the whole thing, post to YouTube, goes viral, a million hits, we sell ad space by the cubic ton, make a buttload of money.




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