[ExI] Omnitheism (was: Re: Atheism)

Ben Zaiboc ben at zaiboc.net
Mon Apr 20 16:47:49 UTC 2020

On 20/04/2020 10:57, Will Steinberg asked:
> What are y'all? 

I have an atheistic world-view, which stems from being a materialist, so 
I call myself an atheist. But I also call myself an 'Omnitheist', which 
is not about religious _faith_, but about _membership_ of religions.

An Omnitheist claims membership of (although not belief in) ALL 
religions, past, present, future, real and imaginary. As an Omnitheist I 
can call myself a muslim, a zoroastrian, a sock-puppetarian, a 
pastafarian, a mormon, a wiccan, etc., etc. Absolutely everything.

Anyone who wants to become an Omnitheist just needs to read, print out 
and sign the following declaration, and voila, you are a fully-signed up 
member of every single religion that does, did, will, could and couldn't 
exist, with all the associated rights, privileges, obligations 
(automatically deemed to have been satisfactorily met), the holidays, 
and so-on. And this is perfectly compatible with atheism, you don't have 
to believe a thing (if any religion /requires/ that you believe 
something, that requirement is simply deemed to have been met):


By the reading and signing of this document, I the undersigned hereby 
declare, affirm and otherwise state:

That I am henceforth a full member of every religion that exists, has 
ever existed, will exist and could exist, as well as every religion that 
cannot exist for whatever reason.

In the case where membership of any religion requires the performance of 
a ritual, the utterance of a statement, or any other voluntary action, 
that action is hereby deemed to have been taken.

In the case where membership of any religion requires the explicit 
permission of an existing authority of that religion, a sect or splinter 
group of that religion is deemed to have been created which does not 
require such permission, and membership of such sect or splinter group 
is hereby asserted, claimed, granted and confirmed.

In the case where membership of any religion requires specific or 
general physical criteria to be met, such as bodily modifications, 
possession of certain bodily forms, gender, age, weight, etc., or 
pre-existing membership of some other group, such criteria are deemed to 
have been met.

In the case where membership of any religion requires any other 
conditions or circumstances, these are deemed to have been satisfied.

I hereby assume all the rights, responsibilities, duties and benefits 
that membership of the above-mentioned religions confers, and deem and 
certify that all such duties and obligations have been, are and will be 
carried out in a satisfactory manner.

This by the power, assent and indulgence of all the gods, demigods, 
devils, demons, elemental powers, spirits, sprites, ghosts, any other 
supernatural or imaginary beings and abstract concepts, past present and 
future, eternal and transient, real and imaginary, of my own free will, 
in solemnity and absurdity, in mockery and in reverence, permanently and 
irrevocably, unless and until I change my mind.


Ben Zaiboc

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