[ExI] please don't eat the wallpaper

[spike at rainier66.com]

From: extropy-chat <extropy-chat-bounces at lists.extropy.org> On Behalf Of Mike Dougherty via extropy-chat
…

>…That's the biggest fruit rollup I've ever seen. You only labelled it like that because you don't wanna share. 

 

>…Fine then,  I'm keeping all the Tide Pods for myself. 

 

 

Go ahead Mike, I have my own tide pods which I shall devour with great relish!

 

Oh wait, retract, that package also says it is harmful to swallow, damn.  It even has a symbol for it, a new one: no devouring the tide pods.  I am so disappointed that now I shall need to find something else for dinner, an alternative form of toxic food, such as Marie Calendar’s pot pies.  (Full disclosure: I loooove Marie Calendar pot pies and eat them regularly.)

 

Please, what kind of world have we created?  In the old days, if someone had pica or other odd compulsion to eat weird things, it was their own damn responsibility to find a way to overpower the urge or live with the consequences if they chose to succumb to that harmful or fatal obsession.  When did companies decide to take it upon themselves to urge consumers to merely purchase rather than literally “consume” their non-edible products?  Do they really need to remind us that tide pods really are not comestibles?  Do we suppose they have all these absurd warnings on products sold in macho places like… Afghanistan or Brazil?  I think they do not.  

 



 

Don’t we feel stupid for having invented such a society?  I kinda do.  I hope at some point we can drop this goofiness before some marketeer figures out a way to make actual edible tide pods, sheesh.

 

Heeeeey, wait a minute.  That’s a GREAT idea!  That they need a warning and even an illiterate graphic code is indication that apparently it is a problem that kids eat tide pods.  So… let’s make edible ones!  There are detergents that are non-toxic.  Note that I am not claiming they would be terribly effective in cleaning clothes, but think about it: edible tide pods, regular price of course, but cheap to make, packaged in those clever squishy water soluble packets!  Oh we could make a buttload.

 

spike

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