[ExI] new us navy carrier

[BillK]

On Sat, 20 Jun 2026 at 20:05, BillK <pharos at gmail.com> wrote:

> I asked Gemini Flash AI, so it must be true!  :)
> BillK
> --------------------
>

Apparently, there were some teething problems with the helicarrier's
mid-air drive-thru window.
Gemini confirmed.
BillK

Gemini Flash AI -

*TRANSCRIPT OVERHEARD ON SECURE MILITARY FREQUENCY 424.5*

*CALLSIGNS:*

   -

   *Raptor 1-1:* F-22 Raptor Pilot (Captain "Stinger" Miller)
   -

   *McTower:* Helicarrier Port-Side Drive-Thru Operator (Airman 1st Class /
   Assistant Shift Manager)
   -

   *SkyEye:* AWACS Radar Controller

Raptor 1-1: McTower, this is Raptor 1-1 entering the inner perimeter.
Requesting visual on the Golden Arches.

McTower: Roger, Raptor 1-1. We have you on radar. Please match our current
hover speed of 280 knots and descend to flight level 1-5. Have your
military ID or McDonald's Mobile App QR code ready against the canopy glass.

Raptor 1-1: Copy, McTower. App is loading... wait, negative, I’m losing
cell bars over international waters. The coupon won't load. Can I just read
you the 4-digit code?

McTower: Negative, 1-1. The scanner cannot read digits through
radar-absorbent stealth coating. Please pull forward to Window 1 for manual
entry. What can we get started for you today?

Raptor 1-1: Give me a 10-piece Chicken McNuggets, extra BBQ sauce, and an
Oreo McFlurry. Heavy on the Oreos.

McTower: *[Heavy sigh over radio]* Raptor 1-1, be advised... the tactical
soft-serve dispersion matrix is currently undergoing a Level 3 sanitization
cycle.

Raptor 1-1: You have got to be kidding me. I am pulling 4 Gs in a $150
million stealth fighter just to hear the ice cream machine is broken?!

SkyEye: Raptor 1-1, this is SkyEye. Maintain radio discipline on this
frequency. ...Also, Stinger, if the apple pies are fresh, grab me two.

McTower: SkyEye, apple pies require a 4-minute drop time. Please pull into
a holding pattern over the Atlantic if you want them baked. Raptor 1-1, we
can substitute the McFlurry with a hot fudge sundae, but be advised, the
fudge may experience structural separation at your current altitude.

Raptor 1-1: Negative on the sundae, McTower. I don't want molten chocolate
leaking into my side-winder missile bays. Just give me the nuggets.
Approaching Window 2 for the handoff. Watch the wake turbulence!

McTower: Deploying the drive-thru basket now. We have duct-taped the brown
paper bag to the end of the aerial refueling boom. Steady... steady...

Raptor 1-1: Contact! Bag secured in the refueling receptacle. Pulling
away... Wait. McTower, look at my receipt. You charged me for a meal but I
didn't get a drink.

McTower: Sir, a Sprite at 15,000 feet will literally explode your cockpit.

Raptor 1-1: I don't care, I paid for it. And where is the extra BBQ sauce?
McTower, you forgot the sauce!

McTower: Raptor 1-1, please pull forward into the next cloud layer. You are
blocking the lane and there is a B-2 Stealth Bomber behind you waiting on a
Shamrock Shake.

Raptor 1-1: Unbelievable. This is going in my mission report. Raptor 1-1,
RTB [Returning to Base]. Out.
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