<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(80, 0, 80); ">>"my only prospects have been offered by homosexual men! =\": I find that faintly offensive.<</span><div>
<font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">I had actually missed that before posting my all-is-well-for-homosexuals-in-extropian-land missive, but it still doesn't change my opinion or my good humor. I did want to mention one curious characteristic of some some homophobic straight men that I've noticed and always get a kick out. They assume that all gay men they meet will immediately try to sleep with them. As if we, because we are gay, have utterly no personal preferences or specifically tailored desires. I was twenty when a sixty-year-old man said to me, "Don't hit on me, and I'm OK with with you."</span></font></div>
<div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">My reply was: "Don't insinuate that I'm automatically going to hit on someone three times my age and not at all to my taste or preference, and I'm OK with you too."</span></font></div>
<div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">The problems with discussions like these is that they invariably stray into highly emotive areas governed by the mid-brain. </span></font></div>
<div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">I'm not the most analytical of people. My emotions gets in the way a lot, but in this area I have to try really hard to be rational.</span></font></div>
<div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;">Darren</span></font></div>
<div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#500050" face="arial, sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br>
</span></font><div class="gmail_quote">On Sun, Dec 26, 2010 at 11:37 PM, Samantha Atkins <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:sjatkins@mac.com">sjatkins@mac.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex;">
<div class="im"><br>
On Dec 26, 2010, at 9:41 AM, Alan Grimes wrote:<br>
<br>
</div><div class="im">> Ben Zaiboc wrote:<br>
>> Alan Grimes <<a href="mailto:agrimes@speakeasy.net">agrimes@speakeasy.net</a>> wrote a bunch of rather impolite and inflammatory things.<br>
><br>
>> There is an analogous absurdity in someone who claims to have 'never even been on a date' proclaiming<br>
>> on the sexual motivations of transhumanists. You know nothing about<br>
> the mental states of the people who<br>
>> frequent Extropia Core, and I can say this with a good deal of confidence.<br>
><br>
> They express themselves quite plainly. The ones that don't are merely<br>
> being properly modest.<br>
><br>
>> "my only prospects have been offered by homosexual men! =\": I find that faintly offensive. Not that I<br>
>> blame you, and I acknowledge that the offense is my own<br>
> responsibility. But I'm pointing out that it can<br>
>> cause offense (in case you didn't realise).<br>
><br>
> THAT?!?!??! IMPOSSIBLE!!! If me talking about my own sexual frustrations<br>
> offends *ANYONE* then there must be something profoundly wrong with that<br>
> person.<br>
<br>
</div>That was not all you did. You talked about other people's sexuality and gender and their expressions thereof in uncalled for highly derogatory terms. You demeaned their sexuality, gender and relationships and suggest they feel ashamed enough to hide it. You also totally bit the hand that has kept you from getting banned or rescinded some existing bans you were under in SL - mine. Not in the least acceptable, smart or giving any indication at all you are a sane being worth dealing with given a choice. Don't now pretend you were not grossly out of line.<br>
<div class="im"><br>
><br>
> I'm turning 33 next week... I have a house, a pile of gold and silver,<br>
> no debt (even mortgage!), My physical appearance is actually rather<br>
> good. But no, I couldn't get a date to save my life. I'm trying to talk<br>
> a girl into being my first date on OKCupid, it's almost scary how well<br>
> matched we are. We were talking about anime so I called us both Otaku,<br>
> but she seems to have taken offense to that. =( If I can't get her to<br>
> date me once, for even ten minutes, ending with a slap to my face, then<br>
> it simply isn't going to happen in my lifetime. =(<br>
><br>
<br>
</div>Totalistic thinking leading to despair. Read "Feeling Good" and the romantic life follow on book. Sounds like you could use it. Don't call those books (or anything else) "gay" if you don't like, understand or feel comfortable with them.<br>
<div class="im"><br>
<br>
<br>
>> Come on, you're an extropian (I presume). You know the drill. Find what works, use it. If it doesn't<br>
>> work for you, try something else.<br>
><br>
> I have a null feedback signal. There is no way to apply any kind of<br>
> hill-climbing algorithm. It's still purely monte-carlo for me. =(<br>
><br>
<br>
</div>It might, for your consideration, have something to do with your apparent lack of civility or impulse control to avoid doing or blurting out whatever is on your mind. Think on it.<br>
<div class="im"><br>
<br>
>> Rinse and repeat until success. Then raise the bar a step. And with<br>
>> something as universal and basic as sex, success is guaranteed!<br>
> Everybody (almost everybody) wants sex.<br>
>> Especially with someone who's sympathetic (but not sycophantic),<br>
> attentive (but not clingy) and<br>
>> understanding (but not obsessive).<br>
><br>
> Recently, I'd been harboring the hypothesis that women don't actually<br>
> have sex drives at all. The only reason they bother with men at all is<br>
> that they need to have someone strong around the house to open vacuum<br>
> sealed bottles for them.<br>
<br>
<br>
</div>Women have quite keen sex drives. So somehow you must be doing a mixture of:<br>
1) not getting out where likely possibilities are;<br>
2) self-programming it is never ever going to happen;<br>
3) sending signals that women should avoid you by all means possible.<br>
<div class="im"><br>
<br>
><br>
>> Come back when it's no longer a big deal, and *then* talk about the sexual motivations of<br>
>> transhumanists.<br>
><br>
> That is functionally equivalent to saying "don't come back". =(<br>
><br>
<br>
</div>If the shoe fits then consider yourself kicked in the posterior with it.<br>
<font color="#888888"><br>
- samantha<br>
</font><div><div></div><div class="h5"><br>
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