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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>We often complain about being meme-bombed this time of year with Christmas music, in the shopping mall, on the radio, everywhere, you cannot escape, resistance is futile. But the way I see it, we should look at how much worse it could be. The season is supposedly about the birth of Jesus Christ, nice snappy name there, two syllables, one syllable, crisp, clean, sounds like blammisphy. But what if… <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>What if for instance Joseph Christ had not fallen for the Virgin Mary, but rather had given in to the wily seductiveness of that little hottie in the back of the class, the foxy Hortense? Imagine the traditional Ava Maria, and substitute the other girl’s name for it. Totally goofs up the song, because of the sustained syllable would now be hooooooorrrtense, hoooooorrrrrtense… and so forth. That would just not work, the proper church ladies would be blushing, the kids would be giggling, it wouldn’t work. Perhaps we could then call the harlots mares, and even it out, but it could be still worse. For instance, what if… <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>What if Joseph Christ’s mother, instead of falling for Joe’s father Billy Christ, had taken up instead with Tommy Schmurgenmeisterstein? Then that clumsy name would have come down the line, and we would get seriously tired of hearing Ava Hortense every Schmurgenmeistersteinmas throughout all of Schmurgenmeistersteinianity. That would get so tiresome.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>So look on the bright side.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>spike<o:p></o:p></p></div></body></html>