<html xmlns:v="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" xmlns:o="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:w="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:word" xmlns:m="http://schemas.microsoft.com/office/2004/12/omml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40"><head><meta http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=us-ascii"><meta name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 14 (filtered medium)"><style><!--
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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>OK so we have now an ongoing experiment where Europe has banned neonics to see if that can stop the decline of honeybees. We can now compare Europe with America to get some actual data, cool.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I have been working on an idea; perhaps you can help. Please skip to the last paragraph if you are in a hurry. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I have seen way more dying bees this year than any before. Even ignoring the presumably anomalous event on 1 January where I saw hundreds of dying bees in one place at one time, I have seen perhaps three to four times more dying bees this year than the typical 15 to 20. My notion has been that we are seeing a combination of factors, one of which might be the neonicotinoids. The neonic theory explains the anomalous event but not the other observations, where I often see bees clearly distressed but not perished, out on a nice bee-day, no apparent explanation, no varroa mites on them. I have a notion that part of the problem, or a contributing factor, might be household pesticides, largely aimed at cockroaches. This gave me an idea.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Bees are beauty queens of the bug world. Without reading the article, look at this picture at the top of this article and really look at a bee. Isn’t she gorgeous?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2013/05/13/183704091/what-is-it-about-bees-and-hexagons?ft=3&f=111787346&sc=nl&cc=es-20130519">http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2013/05/13/183704091/what-is-it-about-bees-and-hexagons?ft=3&f=111787346&sc=nl&cc=es-20130519</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>The transparent wings, the yellow and black transverse striping, the sexy hourglass shape, it’s just a pretty bug.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Contrast the reviled American cockroach:<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><a href="http://www.google.com/search?q=american+cockroach+palmetto+bug&hl=en&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=Ft2YUcaxOujUiwKosIGADg&ved=0CEgQsAQ&biw=984&bih=754">http://www.google.com/search?q=american+cockroach+palmetto+bug&hl=en&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=Ft2YUcaxOujUiwKosIGADg&ved=0CEgQsAQ&biw=984&bih=754</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I have looked carefully at these, even dissected them, I have watched people’s reaction to them, everything from revulsion to terror to uncontrolled panic at seeing these perfectly harmless insects. They don’t bite, they don’t sting, they don’t give you any dreaded disease, but they are so hated that we intentionally introduce known toxins into our own homes, chemicals with both known and unknown harmful effects to humans, pets, birds and beneficial insects, to try to slay the bastards, and yet they survive with a vengeance.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>I have a theory that household pesticides may be one factor contributing to the decline of honeybees. I have seen proles use half a can of Raid, indoors, after seeing just one roach. This cannot be good. Even I, the oddball who really likes bugs, will admit that the cockroach is an ugly bug. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>My idea is to try to use genetic engineering to make the cockroach more attractive. We do the gene sequencing, see if we can figure out what makes a bee’s wings transparent and what makes for those yellow and black stripes, then see if we can gene-splice those sequences and create a cockroach that looks like a huge bee. Or failing that, see if we can get them to at least have colorful wings like a butterfly, something other than that ugly shit-brown they now have. Then perhaps we can get people to grudgingly accept them and stop using so much pesticide, which would reduce costs and perhaps remove a possible factor in honeybee decline. If we can make sheep that glow in the dark, we should be able to make prettier cockroaches.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Have we any gene-splicing hipsters who can suggest a way to do this?<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>spike<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal> <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>