<div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:'comic sans ms',sans-serif;font-size:small;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:12.8px">People may need a "new story" but it is not up to anyone else to weave one for them. That is their own job. I have had the experience of trying to do the weaving for another person. Then they get really upset because they fill like you are "trying to cram it down their throats" or seeking to reach in and reprogram their brain. samantha</span><br style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:12.8px"></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:'comic sans ms',sans-serif;font-size:small;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:12.8px"><br></span></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:'comic sans ms',sans-serif;font-size:small;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:12.8px">It is not the job of anyone, in psychology at least - and psychiatry - to weave a new story for a person. But it is the job of them to point out the inconsistencies in that person's life and thinking. This is called cognitive behavior therapy, and it works as well as anything has that clinicians have put out - ever. </span></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:'comic sans ms',sans-serif;font-size:small;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:12.8px"><br></span></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:'comic sans ms',sans-serif;font-size:small;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:12.8px">Case in point: my yardman took 30 minutes to mulch a small bed, a job I could have done in 7 minutes. He was pulling out single stems of grass as he went that the mulch would have smothered. It turns out that he has been fired numerous times for doing a job his way and not the way his manager wanted it done. He is a perfectionist and is very rigid. He just refuses to do what I tell him and does what he thinks is best, including jobs I did not give him but that he thought needed doing. I am going to try to send him to counseling. His rigidity has cost him jobs, meaning a lot of money, and will cost him my jobs if he doesn't change. He is supported by his wife and currently has no job. I will not 'cram anything down his throat', but I do expect a yardman to do what I tell him to do as long as I am paying for it. Why doesn't he see this for himself? Good question. It's called a personality disorder, meaning a rigid type of thinking (of several types) and it's hard to deal with as people don't know these disorders well. They have little insight into their condition. Generally people don't recognize personality disorders as being a mental disease. They think of neurotics and psychotics and psychopaths.</span></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:'comic sans ms',sans-serif;font-size:small;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:12.8px"><br></span></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:'comic sans ms',sans-serif;font-size:small;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:arial,sans-serif;font-size:12.8px">bill w</span></div></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sat, May 7, 2016 at 8:35 PM, Samantha Atkins <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:sjatkins@gmail.com" target="_blank">sjatkins@gmail.com</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
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<div>On 04/06/2016 02:52 PM, William Flynn
Wallace wrote:<br>
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</span>Studies have shown many times that just presenting
people with facts<br>
will rarely cause them to change previously held beliefs.
It might<br>
even strengthen the wrong belief. It's called the Backfire
effect.<br>
<br>
There are several factors involved. People don't like to
be told that<br>
they are wrong as they 'lose face' and don't want lower
status. When a<br>
belief is wrong, people need help to build a new story in
their brain<br>
to store the new facts.<br>
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<br></span>
Why do they "need help"? Perhaps it is "good old days" fallacy but
it seems to me that people have more fragile egos now than they used
to. Actually it is not that the egos seem more fragile but there is
more belief that ego fragility is to be coddled instead of telling
the person to embrace the rational approach and get over their mere
feelings enough to admit the new evidence. It used to be more the
norm that bringing up feelings in an intellectual conversation was
frowned upon. <br>
<br>
Is it just me or as the world changed where we want to be real
careful not to upset anyone's pre-existing prejudice?<br>
<br>
Extropians in particular held to pancritical rationalism - question
everything and take no feeling prisoners.<br>
<br>
People may need a "new story" but it is not up to anyone else to
weave one for them. That is their own job. I have had the
experience of trying to do the weaving for another person. Then
they get really upset because they fill like you are "trying to cram
it down their throats" or seeking to reach in and reprogram their
brain. <br>
<br>
You can lead a horse to water..<span class="HOEnZb"><font color="#888888"><br>
<br>
<br>
- samantha<br>
</font></span></div>
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