<div dir="auto">In response to Bill,<div dir="auto">I don't know how to quote text sorry.</div><div dir="auto">First thing to remember as BPD is that any emotion I feel is double or more than what "normal" people feel. So when I'm angry about something it's usually rage. So foremost all my attention and focus is on controlling impulses. Do not scream, do not throw anything, do not hurt anyone in any way.</div><div dir="auto">Then for the first day or so sitting in the emotion because it's a familiar discomfort.</div><div dir="auto">Then I start the process of logic. What am I *really* angry about? Did my reaction fit the facts? Was this reaction amplified because I haven't been looking after myself? Was I actually reacting to something else?</div><div dir="auto">Then the process for moving forward starts with self care basics, changing my body chemistry, and if I need to talk to the person about something I write out my speech as factually as possible with no attacks, possibly with an apology if I owe one, and schedule a meeting. But then I sit in the pain until the meeting occurs. Yes, I schedule meetings with loved ones regarding a topic so they can also prepare anything they might want to say.</div><div dir="auto">It's quite similar for happiness as well though. So something that might make a person smirk will put me in uncontrollable joy.</div><div dir="auto">BPD is very akin to bipolar except my fluctuations are not over days or weeks but can be just about instantaneous. It is draining.</div><div dir="auto">But yes most of my energy goes to impulse control which is why it takes longer.</div><div dir="auto">I also don't know how long it takes other people and what other people do to move past it.</div><div dir="auto">Would you care to share your way?</div><div dir="auto"><br></div></div><br><div class="gmail_quote"><div dir="ltr" class="gmail_attr">On Sun., Aug. 29, 2021, 01:29 William Flynn Wallace via extropy-chat, <<a href="mailto:extropy-chat@lists.extropy.org">extropy-chat@lists.extropy.org</a>> wrote:<br></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:comic sans ms,sans-serif;font-size:large;color:#000000"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-family:Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:small"> Emotions are still a base level instinctual reaction. </span><br></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:large;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-size:small"><font face="comic sans ms, sans-serif">Only partly true. We have lots of conditioned emotions via the Pavlov technique of pairing a stimulus with an unconditioned stimulus. Such as learned fears. Road rage. Which leads to the conclusion that if you can avoid stimuli that elicit anger you can help control that anger.</font></span></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:large;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-size:small"><font face="comic sans ms, sans-serif"><br></font></span></div><div class="gmail_default" style="font-size:large;color:rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="color:rgb(34,34,34);font-size:small"><font face="comic sans ms, sans-serif">I am interested to know just how you quash anger and why it takes you so long. Not prying - just interested. Any answer we can add to emotional controls is useful. bill w</font></span></div></div><br><div class="gmail_quote"><div dir="ltr" class="gmail_attr">On Sat, Aug 28, 2021 at 10:13 AM Nuala Thomson via extropy-chat <<a href="mailto:extropy-chat@lists.extropy.org" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer">extropy-chat@lists.extropy.org</a>> wrote:<br></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;border-left:1px solid rgb(204,204,204);padding-left:1ex"><div dir="auto"><div>I agree with both Brent and Bill. <div dir="auto">I suffer from BPD which (simply put) means my emotions are usually extremes and I'm very impulsive. I'm aware of it, I know how to cope with it, I know how to resist impulses, I know when to keep my mouth shut, and most importantly I knew something was wrong with me and to seek help and get the training I needed to have some control. I'm very aware when I'm irrational and it still takes me 2-3 days to get anger under control and think like a rational and logical person.</div><div dir="auto">So yes I agree IQ may help but only so far. Emotions are still a base level instinctual reaction. </div><div dir="auto">I think the situation, and self awareness play a big part on whether you can help yourself or not, and whether you educate yourself, regardless of subject matter. Which swings us back to IQ playing a part as I'm sure all of us self-educate on any number of topics.</div><div dir="auto">My latest topic of interest being negotiation vs compromise and contracts for long-term relationships. It makes sense to me as it takes out all of the possible mind-reading, and lays clear wants, needs, and expectations.</div><div dir="auto">Off topic.</div><div dir="auto">Life, emotions, thinking patterns and behaviours are all dialectic. There is no right or wrong.</div><div dir="auto"><br></div><div dir="auto"><br></div><br><br><div class="gmail_quote"><div dir="ltr" class="gmail_attr">On Sat., Aug. 28, 2021, 11:23 William Flynn Wallace via extropy-chat, <<a href="mailto:extropy-chat@lists.extropy.org" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer">extropy-chat@lists.extropy.org</a>> wrote:<br></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;border-left:1px solid rgb(204,204,204);padding-left:1ex"><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:"comic sans ms",sans-serif;font-size:large;color:rgb(0,0,0)">Just think about it: IQ means a lot of adaptability to new situations and ability to generalize to new ways of dealing with problems, emotional and otherwise. Ideas are just ways of thinking about something in the abstract. The cognitive side cannot completely control the emotional side, but having more ideas helps a lot. I have always climbed out of my problems by myself, with one small exception - saw a psych. for one visit and decided that I could come up with ideas as well as he could. IQ helps mental health - no doubt. bill w</div></div>
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