<html xmlns:v="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" xmlns:o="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:w="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:word" xmlns:m="http://schemas.microsoft.com/office/2004/12/omml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40"><head><meta http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=us-ascii"><meta name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 15 (filtered medium)"><!--[if !mso]><style>v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><div><div style='border:none;border-top:solid #E1E1E1 1.0pt;padding:3.0pt 0in 0in 0in'><p class=MsoNormal><b>From:</b> spike@rainier66.com <spike@rainier66.com> <br><b>Subject:</b> brown alerts: new earthquake alert system<o:p></o:p></p></div></div><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>>…Hey cool, the earthquake alert system works.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><a href="https://www.mercurynews.com/2022/09/14/shakealerts-big-test-in-santa-rosa-earthquake/">https://www.mercurynews.com/2022/09/14/shakealerts-big-test-in-santa-rosa-earthquake/</a><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><img border=0 width=185 height=84 style='width:1.927in;height:.875in' id="Picture_x0020_1" src="cid:image003.jpg@01D8C903.4E57A040"><o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>>…So the USGS is apparently doing exactly what I had envisioned: set up a network of these seismos, give the proles a few seconds to repent of their sins, perhaps scream or grab the urn with grandma’s ashes, that sorta thing. We already have amber alerts for missing endangered children and silver alerts for missing endangered geezers. They could call the earthquake system brown alerts, for … em… well, yellow was already taken and … spike<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Wait, I realized that brown alert notion won’t work. The amber alert and the silver alert have the same sound to get your attention (oooh it works (because it is really loud (and makes ya jump outta your damn skin.))) If we set it up so that a brown alert makes the same sound as the other two colors, you know what would happen, ja? Some snarky old bahstid hoping to raise some excellent hell will set up video cameras at the office, go out somewhere, call in a silver alert on himself, record his young colleagues diving under tables, send it in to America’s Funniest Home Videos. Then if I get cau… uh…rather, if HE gets caught, HE could play senile old bahstid, claim HE really was lost in HIS own neighborhood, which isn’t MY neighborhood. Necessarily.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Dang. Never work.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>There aughta be a way to send a specific vocal message, one that would specifically say “Earthquake, take cover young fools” or something like that, a message to offer a useful warning but stop snarky geezers from using it to play gags on the proles.<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>spike<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p></div></body></html>