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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72" style='word-wrap:break-word'><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>I don’t work at the Babylon Bee. But they are getting in on the act:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>10 Ways An AI Wife Is Better Than A Real One<o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Jul 23, 2025 · BabylonBee.com<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>With the dawn of artificial intelligence wives, you may be asking yourself: which is better? Artificial intelligence, or the real thing?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Here are ten clear ways an AI wife is better than a real one:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><ol style='margin-top:0in' start=1 type=1><li class=MsoNormal style='mso-list:l0 level1 lfo3'><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Can pick a restaurant in milliseconds: </span></b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Huge upgrade.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class=MsoNormal style='mso-list:l0 level1 lfo3'><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Great at directions: </span></b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>No more of this "It's just a little way past that cute cottage" garbage.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class=MsoNormal style='mso-list:l0 level1 lfo3'><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Ten percent</span></b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'> <b>less likely to murder you in your sleep: </b>It's not much, but it's something.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class=MsoNormal style='mso-list:l0 level1 lfo3'><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Never wants to have sex when you're kinda tired: </span></b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Phew!<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class=MsoNormal style='mso-list:l0 level1 lfo3'><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Doesn't care that you sleep on an air mattress and live in filth: </span></b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>She's so sweet that way.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class=MsoNormal style='mso-list:l0 level1 lfo3'><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Wouldn't mind if you went out with your friends (if you had any): </span></b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>It would just be nice to know you could.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class=MsoNormal style='mso-list:l0 level1 lfo3'><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Any time she says "I don't feel like it," you can reply with "that's impossible, you don't have feelings," and instantly win the argument: </span></b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Boom.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class=MsoNormal style='mso-list:l0 level1 lfo3'><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Unlikely to get pregnant by Elon Musk: </span></b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Never say never.<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class=MsoNormal style='mso-list:l0 level1 lfo3'><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Never challenges you to grow, so you can remain exactly as self-centered as you already are: </span></b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Sweet!<o:p></o:p></span></li><li class=MsoNormal style='mso-list:l0 level1 lfo3'><b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Won't cry when you die: </span></b><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>Ugh, crying is the worst.<o:p></o:p></span></li></ol><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>OK we already knew AI is better than us fellers. But when we realize it also applies to the ladies, oh mercy, we are soooo finished as a species. Cooked. Hosed!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:11.0pt'>spike<o:p></o:p></span></p></div></body></html>