[Paleopsych] Sage: Biblical humor-- modern headlines to bible stories

[Premise Checker]

Biblical humor-- modern headlines to bible stories
From: Norman Vickers <nvickers1 at cox.net>

To: A few friends, Mencken-Pensacola list, and a few Episcopalians

Thanks to Jazz-friend Ron Smith who sent this along.  Enjoy!
One of my physician friends from Eastern Kentucky used to call these kind of
jokes "Sunday School Jokes" since
they were so squeaky-clean they could be told in Sunday School.

H.L. Mencken connection:  although Mencken was an avowed agnostic, he was a
more knowledgeable about the bible than most ministers.  See his book,
"Treatise on the Gods."  I think he'd have gotten a guffaw or two over
these.

Norman
____________________________________________________________

Biblical Headlines for Modern Times
** If Biblical Headlines were written by today's media **

On Red Sea crossing:

WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On David vs. Goliath:

HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:

FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the birth of Christ:

HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On feeding the 5,000:

PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On healing the 10 lepers:

LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED
"Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:

MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer's Investment Lost
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On raising Lazarus from the dead:

FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Will Reading to be Delayed