[Paleopsych] eBay: Certificate of Ownership for the Entire Universe

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Fri May 13 18:28:58 UTC 2005

Certificate of Ownership for the Entire Universe

eBay item 6530828170 (Ends May-17-05 08:29:31 PDT)

    Current bid: US $102.50
    Place Bid >
    Time left: 4 days 1 hour
    10-day listing, Ends May-17-05 08:29:31 PDT
    Start time: May-07-05 08:29:31 PDT
    History: [20]15 bids   (US $1.00 starting bid)
    High bidder: [21]tcieri [s.gif] ( [22]2 )
    Item location: Randolph, New Jersey
    United States
    Ships to: Worldwide
    Shipping costs: Check item description and payment instructions or
    contact seller for details

    The item you are bidding on is a Certificate of Ownership for the
    Entire Universe.

    Apparently, my previous auction for the entire universe was in
    violation of ebays regulations. This was quite frustrating, as it had
    approximately 1500 viewers in less than 24 hours and over 31 bids with
    over 8 days to go. I also had numerous comments which were often quite
    hilarious and which made the previous 24 hours some of the most
    interesting hours of my life.

    Since I was not perfectly clear last time around, I am re-listing my
    item with some slight tweaks.

    What you will receive is a beautiful 8 x 10 certificate with gold-leaf
    borders that I created in the privacy of my own studio. There is only
    one such Certificate in existence, and it will come to you signed and
    dated by myself, Paul N Grech. I am an artist from NJ, and this
    auction is part of a 9-day interactive art project where I decided two
    days ago that people really need to start accepting accountability for
    their lives.

    Since nobody as yet has claimed ownership of this wonderful universe,
    I came to the realization that it might as well be YOU.  The
    certificate is my artistic decree that the universe is a nothing but
    a cascading of ideas shared by billions of human beings, including
    yourself. With this certificate, you might be entitled to billions of
    stars and planets, a number of black holes, a bunch of elusive dark
    matter, and the collective unconscience of our unique yet infantile

    Seeing as how the human mind observes the universe, the mind also
    responsible for defining and essentially creating reality. It is quite
    possible that there is no universe outside of your own consciousness.
    It is equally possible that there are zillions of universes occurring
    simultaneously in and around us as we speak. Since there is no way to
    know for sure, the winning bidder will receive only the certificate.
    How you wish to interpret your ownership from here on is entirely up
    to you.

    Upon receipt of the certificate, you may shape and hone the universe
    as you see fit. However, I encourage you to think and act carefully;
    the tone of your every thought, emotion, action, and lack of action
    will have consequences that affect everything around you. If you find
    that the universe is engaged in petulance and/or is mistreating you,
    then I highly consider you shift your attitude toward one that is
    conducive to the well being of everyone. We are all counting on you.

    Shipping of the certificate is $5.00. I can provide pictures later as
    I wanted to re-list as quickly as possible so as not to disappoint
    anyone who had previously bid.

    The bidding will start at one dollar because I really want you to take

    Disclaimer: This certificate shall NOT interfere with any contracts,
    agreements, or conditions of material, intellectual, or spiritual
    ownership as they currently exist on planet earth.

    On May-09-05 at 11:06:48 PDT, seller added the following
    information:Somebody who recently purchased a star was threatening to
    sue me!

Show All Questions

Question & Answer Answered On

    Q: Okay--so the universe exists only in our individual minds.
    Do you mean to tell me you don't look both ways before crossing a
    highway? Do you just imagine the vehicles out of existence because
    they interfere with your reality?
    A: NOt sure I understand your question. You should also know
    that, just because I made this silly claim about the universe being an
    intellectual construct does not mean that it is true or that I buy
    into it.

    Q: I am concerned about the price. The certificate may have
    artistic value, but what it represents is of questionable value. Given
    that the universe is expanding indefinitely, it is for all practical
    perposes infinite, and given that the average cubic yard contains a
    few atoms of hydrogen gas, which is worthless, this means that the
    value of the entire universe is zero, when you multiply zero by
    infinity. Your product is overpriced.
    A: Well..the "matter" comprising your body is mostly empty
    space, but that wouldn't make you worthless, would it? The whole is
    always greater than the sum of its parts. As for overpricing...The net
    energy of the universe is zero, and so if your interpret value as
    measure of total energy then yes, this auction is a total rip-off!

    Q: OK I'm interested but I need to know exactly how this item
    works- I need a basic run-down of all the physics(i.e.. the grand
    unifying theory). Plus what happens behind an event horizon. Is there
    any other forms of lime on it other than life? I mean I don't want it
    compleatly covered in mould.
    A: I am not a physicist, but I dont believe there is an
    acceptable grand unified theory at this time. As for what happens
    BEHIND an event horizon..next time I'm in the neighborhood I will
    check for you. If I had to guess though, I'd speculate that the term
    behind is entirely relative because it would require directionalities
    (such as front/back, now/then, here/there), none of which are
    irrelevant in the singularity of a black hole. Maybe theres even a
    portal to another universe where lawyers and taxes don't exist.

    Q: Have you lost your mind?
    A: More or less...but probably more "less" than "more".

    Q: Hi. I'm wondering though--if the universe(s) exist as part
    of the imaginative or world-building or
    world-observing-and-integrative faculty of one's (and others, assuming
    there are others) minds, wouldn't my ownership of the universe in the
    first case already be effective, and in the second, involve ownership
    of (part of--but a very important part of) another human being? Isn't
    this contrary to something--some amendment to the constitution, or
    general social morality, etc? So aren't I either buying something I
    already "own" (or a certification of ownership entitling me to
    ownership of it)--or something I'm not allowed to own? And therefore
    wasn't ebay completely justified in taking down this odious
    slavery-inducing or self-selling type of auction??? Hunh? thanks, G
    A: First off, I dont claim to have the answer(s).. I suggest
    offer possibilities. But can you honestly tell me that YOU know whats
    going on, or that you have the answers? As for the latter portion of
    your questionthe answer is no..the auction will NOT violate anyones
    rights or privileges because: a) if you are referring to rights
    guaranteed by either the US Constitution or the Declaration of
    Independence, both of these documents were conceived and written on
    earth, and I specifically stated that my auction shall not interfere
    with any contracts or agreements as they currently exist on this
    planet. Furthermore, these are American documents, and so the portion
    of the planet that enjoys these rights afforded by these documents is
    in the minority. b) in order for someones rights to be violated I
    would have to assume that someone else exists, and that would preclude
    one of the aspects of the argument which suggests the universe is
    entirely a fabrication. As for whether you alre

    Q: What exactly did your previous auction violate?
    A: The previous auction was in violation because it did not
    list an actual item, bu rather, a set of ideas. This time around I'm
    auctioning off a certificate which is a physical object.

    Q: I was woundering how much it would cost to ship to
    "crunchie" or the larger galexy in what you call: M55 I'm in one of
    the outer arms Thanks ^^^^^
    A: "Crunchie", "The Milky Way"...is everytyhing out there
    named after some type of candy bar? As for shipping..it would probably
    be cheaper if you just relocated.

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