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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><!--StartFragment --><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'> </span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'> </span></font></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Bob Wood, Ph.D., Reference Librarian</span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>LSU Health Sciences Center-Shreveport</span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;color:navy'> </span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Tel.: (318) 675-5679</span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Email: trongly that </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">the truth, no matter how alarming, trivial or
disgusting, must </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">always be told. I am pleased to report that the
words below are at </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">least not disgusting: </font></tt><br>
<br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the </font></tt></span></font><tt><font
color=black face="Courier New"><span style='color:black'>United States</span></font></tt><tt><font
color=black face="Courier New"><span style='color:black'>. We are </span></font></tt><font
color=black face="Courier New"><span style='font-family:"Courier New";
color:black'><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there
is more than one </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in
favor of one God, </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of
Moderation noted the </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">possibility of there being no God at all, and his
objection was </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">noted with love by the secretary. </font></tt><br>
<br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the </font></tt></span></font><tt><font
color=black face="Courier New"><span style='color:black'>United States</span></font></tt><tt><font
color=black face="Courier New"><span style='color:black'>! Too long </span></font></tt><font
color=black face="Courier New"><span style='font-family:"Courier New";
color:black'><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">has your attention been waylaid by the bright
baubles of extremist </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of
all religions </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">(except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions,
fundamentalism </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have
you been buffeted </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">by angry people who think that God talks to them.
You have a right </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">to your moderation! You have the power to be calm!
We will use the </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic
_expression! </font></tt><br>
<br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">People of the </font></tt></span></font><tt><font
color=black face="Courier New"><span style='color:black'>United States</span></font></tt><tt><font
color=black face="Courier New"><span style='color:black'>, why is everyone
yelling at you??? </span></font></tt><font color=black face="Courier New"><span
style='font-family:"Courier New";color:black'><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Whatever happened to ... you know, everything? Why
is the news </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">dominated by nutballs saying that the Ten
Commandments have to be </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">tattooed inside the eyelids of every American, or
that Allah has </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">told them to kill Americans in order to rid the
world of Satan, or </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">that Yahweh has instructed them to go live
wherever they feel like, </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">or that Shiva thinks bombing mosques is a great
idea? Sister </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Immaculate Dagger of Peace notes for the record
that we mean no </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">disrespect to Jews, Muslims, Christians or Hindus.
Referred back to </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">the committee of the whole for further discussion.
</font></tt><br>
<br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">We are Unitarian Jihad. We are everywhere. We have
not been born </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not
think that God </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep
with. Brother </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Neutron Bomb of Serenity notes for the record that
he does not have </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">a moral code but is nevertheless a good person,
and Unexalted Leader </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Garrote of Forgiveness stipulates that Brother
Neutron Bomb of </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Serenity is a good person, and this is to be
reflected in the </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">minutes. </font></tt><br>
<br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting
like grown-ups </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">with brains enough to understand the difference
between political </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad
will begin a series </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">of terrorist-like actions. We will take over
television studios, </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm,
well-reasoned </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">discussions of the issues of the day. We will not
try for "balance" </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by
hiring non-</font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">ideologues who have carefully thought through the
issues. </font></tt><br>
<br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public
places and require </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">people to shake hands with each other. (Sister
Hand Grenade of Love </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">suggested that we institute a terror regime of
mandatory hugging, </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">but her motion was not formally introduced because
of lack of a </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen
and campaign </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">managers to dress like trout in public.
Televangelists will be </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists.
Demagogues of all </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">stripes will be required to read Proust out loud
in prisons. </font></tt><br>
<br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is:
"Sincerity is not enough." </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">We have heard from enough sincere people to last a
lifetime already. </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it
true. Just </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are
not doing harm. </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home,
or just feed the </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up.
The world is not out </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">to get you, except in the sense that the world is
out to get </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">everyone. </font></tt><br>
<br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Brother Gatling Gun of Patience notes that he's
pretty sure the </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">world is out to get him because everyone laughs
when he says he is a </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Unitarian. There were murmurs of assent around the
room, and someone </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">suggested that we buy some Congress members and
really stick it to </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">the Baptists. But this was deemed against
Revolutionary Principles, </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">and Brother Gatling Gun of Patience was remanded
to the Sunday </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">Flowers and Banners committee. </font></tt><br>
<br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">People of the </font></tt></span></font><tt><font
color=black face="Courier New"><span style='color:black'>United States</span></font></tt><tt><font
color=black face="Courier New"><span style='color:black'>! We are Unitarian
Jihad! We can strike </span></font></tt><font color=black face="Courier New"><span
style='font-family:"Courier New";color:black'><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and
harmony will appear </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government
again! There </font></tt><br>
<tt><font face="Courier New">will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room
after the revolution. </font></tt></span></font></p>
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