[extropy-chat] Stealing organs finally a crime...

Spike spike66 at comcast.net
Thu Dec 11 07:10:32 UTC 2003


> >We haven't had a pungasm on extropians for some time.  {8-]
> 
> Well, Newtonmas is approaching.  Silly on, dude! -- David.


OK.  These are not ones I wrote, altho I did modify a few
of them.  People send me this kinda stuff because they
know my brain has a humor co-processor, that actually
is a higher performer than my main CPU.  spike


 Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine. --

 A backward poet writes inverse. --

 A professional poet charges perverse.

 A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. --

 Dijon vu - the feeling you have had this same mustard before. --

 Practice safe eating - always use condiments. --

 Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. --

 My neighbor took up with a mistress, just to break the monogamy. --

 A hangover is the wrath of grapes. --

 Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. --

 Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? --

 Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. --

 When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. --

 A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

 What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.) --

 What does a cryonicist put in his will?  Frozen assets.

 Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. --

 In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. --

 She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off. --

 A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. --

 I didn't pay my exorcist.  I got repossessed. --

 With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. --

 When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. --

 I fell into an upholstery machine.  Now Im fully recovered. --

 You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. --

 Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under. --

 He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. --

 A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine. --

 A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. --

 I have a photographic memory but it was never developed. 
	(Those younger than 10 yrs today won't get that one)--

 A plateau is a high form of flattery. --

 A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at
large. --

 Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. --

 Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. --

 Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. --

 Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. --

 Acupuncture is a jab well done.

 I bought a box of those penile enlargement patches, stuck them
on my scalp.  It was a mind expanding experience.




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