[extropy-chat] LOTR: Nitpickers Guide

Mike Lorrey mlorrey at yahoo.com
Sun Feb 1 02:38:38 UTC 2004

There is some excellent discussion over the past day or two on /. about
the Nitpickers Guide to LOTR, a site which compares all the changes
from the books to the movies. One thing that someone posted that is
rather hilarious is the following:

12 Things Not To Say Watching ROTK in the theatre:

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait...where
the hell is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming, "YOU.....
SHALL....NOT..... PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done
it better."
3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone
says, "the Ring."
4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mis..ter Ander-sonnn."
7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs
sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off
someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep," Monty
Python style.
10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout,
12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien
about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
13. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
14. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a
nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
16. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around
looking terribly confused.
17 When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for a tense moment and
shout, "I see dead people!"
18. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and
Yoda would be like.
19. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob
20. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of
21. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man!Charlotte's really let herself

Mike Lorrey
"Live Free or Die, Death is not the Worst of Evils."
                                       - Gen. John Stark
"Fascists are objectively pro-pacifist..."
                                       - Mike Lorrey
Do not label me, I am an ism of one...
Sado-Mikeyism: http://mikeysoft.zblogger.com

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