[extropy-chat] extropian and transhumanist jokes

Amara Graps amara at amara.com
Tue Mar 21 05:07:04 UTC 2006

Fourteen years ago we had an extended extropian light-bulb joke
contest going, where everyone contributed jokes. Then I resurrected
it six years ago, where more people contributed. Someone at that
time archived all of the jokes, there were some great ones, but I
don't know where they are  archived, and a cursory Google search
doesn't turn them up.

Since James is initiating a transhumanist joke thread, I will paste
what I wrote June 30,2000.



And I offer to you the following thread of Extropian lightbulb jokes
initiated in June 1992 by Andrea Gallagher, and pursued
by Tom Morrow and others on the Extropians mailing list. It
might be a good time to add a few more.


OK, you've got you Extropian logo, you've got your extropian
colors, you've got, heaven help us, your extropian handshake.
So, the only thing I think we're missing is the official
extropian lightbulb joke.

How many extropians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A.  Don't worry about that!  We'll just wait for the singularity.

A.  None!  In any properly run galaxy, we'll just MOVE THE STARS to put
their light exactly where it is needed.

A.  None!  Lightbulbs don't burn out in virtual-reality...

A.  Extropians believe in dynamic optimism, which should hold that
with the availability of a suitably advanced nanotechnology
lightbulbs could become self changing, and indeed, self repairing.
Failing that, the standard 1 extropian will do to change the bulb,
while 12 stand by flaming.

A.  264. One to change the light bulb and 263 to argue about whether a
universe exists where the lightbulb is still burning.

A.  One original, and as many copies as are necessary.

A.  None. They've insured the lightbulb with their protection agency.

A.  None. Why invest in such obsolete technology when nanotech is

A.  Wait, is it on an island?

A.  What is an extropian, I mean, really?

A.  None; they'll just switch their visual systems to infrared.

A.  "Not now; we're trying to get free light from the quantum vacuum

A.  %^4FgT^hH%RR#$GH*857GHWr5@$%T 23$Tb at 3546bskldvhj2934

      (Hmmm, this answer appears to be encrypted...)

A.  Two:  one to install a perpetu-bulb, and the other to blame the
State for the crappy design of the first bulb.

A.  None, because that would infringe on the neighbors' riparian right
to darkness.

A.  None; we'll let the State do it and then explain how we could have
done it better.

A.  I don't know, but with full nanotech we could make
as many Extropians as we needed...

A.  Depends on what you want to change it into...

A.  All of them:  one to hold the bulb and the rest to rotate the

A. 1.. no...  wait-a-minute 5.. no.. the-answer-is 3 .. try 12.. ..

    (memes competing in my head)

A. Wait while I convert that statement to E-prime!

A. I don't know, but let's use betting markets to generate a consensus!

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