[ExI] new names

William Flynn Wallace foozler83 at gmail.com
Fri May 30 17:08:50 UTC 2014

NEW HAVEN (The Borowitz Report
<http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/>)—After a report
from the Yale Center on Climate Change Communication showed that the term
“climate change” elicits relatively little concern from the American
public, leading scientists are recommending replacing it with a new term:
“You will be burnt to a crisp and die.”

Other terms under consideration by the scientists include “your cities will
be ravaged by tsunamis and floods” and “earth will be a fiery hellhole
incapable of supporting human life.”

Scientists were generally supportive of the suggestions, with many favoring
the term “your future will involve rowing a boat down a river of rotting

“Any of these terms would do a better job conveying the urgency of the
problem,” Tracy Klugian, a spokesperson for the newly renamed Yale Center
for Oh My God Wake Up You Assholes, said.
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