[ExI] Red and green qualia

John Clark johnkclark at gmail.com
Mon Jul 1 00:17:34 UTC 2019

On Sun, Jun 30, 2019 at 6:13 PM <spike at rainier66.com> wrote:

> Heh.
> *Wordplay is not only allowed on ExI, it is encouraged.*

Well in that case.... for several decades now I have had a list and
whenever in my reading I ran across a line or anagram or even a couple of
poems that I particularly like or would make for a good bumper sticker I
added it to my list. This is that list, but now that you've taken that
speed-reading course you've probably already finished reading it.

*I could not fail to disagree with you less.To define recursion we must
first define recursion.If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two
data points.If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born
that way.In English, every word can be verbed.Is this true or only
clever?Justice: A decision in your favor.Know what I hate most? Rhetorical
questions.Life is like an analogy.Make things as simple as possible, but
not simpler. --EinsteinMy computer NEVER cras2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large
values of 2.I like my water diluted.Positive: Being mistaken at the top of
your voice.Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.-Sigmund FreudThat was Zen;
this is Tao.Help! I'm being held prisoner by my heredity and
environment!Drawing on my fine command of the English language I said
nothing. -Robert Benchley*

*The days of the digital watch are numbered.Confusion is always the most
honest response.There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they
startThe generation of random numbers is too important to be left to
chance.The universe is surrounded by whatever it is that surrounds
universes.There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of
them?If you have something important to say for God's sake start at the
end.There is no bottom to worse.Things are more like they are now than they
have ever been. -Gerald Ford.They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian.
They aren't laughing now.This aphorism would be seven words long if it were
six words shorter.This sentence no verb.Time is an illusion perpetrated by
the manufacturers of space.To study a subject best, understand it
thoroughly before you start.Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under
communism, it is just the opposite.*

*To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.Very few profundities can be
expressed in less than 80 characters.We need either less corruption or more
chance to participate in it.What this country needs is more leaders who
know what this country needs.What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never
mind.What if there were no hypothetical situations?When you've seen one
non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.Why don't "minimalists" find a
shorter name for themselves?Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?Why did
the Tachyon cross the road? Because it was on the other side.Why isn't
"phonetic" spelled the way it's said?After all is said and done, usually
more is said.Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.Can you think
of another word for "synonym"?Black holes are where God divided by
zero...But other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?Don't
just DO something, STAND THERE!Visualize whirled peas.Everyone is entitled
to my opinion.I avoid clichés like the plague.I show a clear pattern of
unpredictabilityI thought I was wrong once...but I was mistaken.I used to
be indecisive but now I'm not sure.I'm a very modest person, and damn proud
of it!Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for valuable prizes.The truth
will be found when it is no longer needed.The universe is a figment of its
own imagination.Time exists so that everything doesn't happen all at
once.Give me ambiguity or give me something else.Stop Plate Tectonics!My
brother was an only child.Don't be so open minded that your brains fall
out.The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false.It's
impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.Twenty
per cent of Zero is Better than Nothing.Diplomacy is the art of saying
"nice doggie" until you find a rock. -Will Rogers*

*Quantum particles: The dreams that stuff is made of.Never forget what you
need to remember.It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the
impression of stupidly than to open it and remove all doubt.*

*Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.Patriotism is a pernicious,
psychopathic form of idiocy. -George Bernard Shaw*

*Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.  -Ralph Waldo EmersonBlack
holes suck.Closed Captioned in HEX for Programmers.Circular Definition: see
Definition, Circular.Consider it considered!Consistency: The last refuge of
the unimaginativeDON'T READ THIS!!!Drive Offensively!Floggings will
continue until morale improves.186000 miles a second: it's not just a good
idea, it's the law!Hard Work never killed anyone, but why chance it?I have
NOT lost my mind, it's here on disk somewhere...Moderation in everything,
including moderation.I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.I'll never
forget what's-his-name.If you can't say it in 50 characters, then don't
bI'm more humble than you are!If we believe absurdities, we shall commit
atrocities.Illiterate? Write for information!Is it ok to panic now?It's not
a bug, it's a feature.Life is the ultimate IQ test.Lottery: A tax on people
who are bad at math.Life would be easier if I had God's source
code.Martyrdom is the oldest way of achieving fame without ability.Most of
us don't sell out because nobody wants to buy.Most people work just hard
enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.*

*Murder is a crime. Describing murder is not. Sex is not a crime.
Describing sex is.*

*My greatest fear is that one of the candidates will win.Is Life is based
on a true story?Never let your willpower get the best of you.Advice to
doctors: Never say, "Oops!" always say "Ah, interesting!"Never
underestimate the power of a platitude.93.7% of all statistics are made
up.One doesn't need to eat the entire egg to know it is bad.Ninety percent
of the people in any group think they're in the top ten percent.*

*No matter where you go, there you are.I know of no law of logic that
demands every event have a cause.Things like that could give hypocrisy a
bad name.Sincerity is a vastly overrated virtue.Not many people realize
just how well known I am.Oh no, not another learning experience!On a scale
of 1 to 10, 4 is about a 7.One picture had better be worth a thousand
words, it takes up a lot more disk space.*

*Only fools are certain; it takes wisdom to be confused.Palindrome isn't
one.People who are late are happier than those who have to wait for
them.People who think they know everything are the easiest to fool.Physics
and law enforcement: If it weren't for them, I'd be unstoppable.Physics is
not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.*

*REALITY.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N/Q)Rebooting your brain can
be tricky.Recent polls reveal that some people have never been polled.Right
theory, wrong universe.*

*Science seeks to make theories that are so beautiful that Nature is
flattered and acquiesces.*

*Strip mining prevents forest fires!Sometimes I feel like a figment of my
own imagination.Sometimes the only solution is to find a new
problem.Sometimes the truth can be so unnecessary.A conclusion is simply
the place where you got tired of thinking.Man is certainly stark mad. He
can't make a worm but he makes gods by the dozens. – Montaigne*

*A little greed can get you lots of stuff.A little inaccuracy saves tons of
explanation.All generalizations are false.Always remember that you are
unique, just like everyone else.Few people can be happy unless they hate
some other person, nation, or creed. - Bertrand Russell*

*Most people would sooner die than think; in fact they do so. - Bertrand

*I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -
Woody Allen*

*Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow. - Oscar WildCabbage: A
vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce*

*Egotist: A person more interested in himself than me. - Ambrose
BierceDon't be humble. You're not that great. - Golda MeirWise men make
proverbs but fools repeat them.There is nothing so absurd but some
philosopher has said it. - CiceroTell the truth and run.Always remember to
pillage BEFORE you burn.One murder makes a villain, a million murders makes
a hero.Only the mediocre are always at their best.*

*Why is there only one antitrust division?I always wanted to be a
procrastinator, never got around to it.If you're not confused, you're not
paying attention.*

*I'm not breaking the rules, I'm just testing their elasticity.I'm not even
going to ignore that.Is "tired old cliché" one?It would be nice if entropy
could be used for something constructive.I've told you MILLIONS of times,
don't exaggerate!God not only plays dice He sometimes throws them where
they can't be seen.*

*You can't frighten me, I'm a coward, I'm always scared.Your idea is crazy
but nor crazy enough to be true.  Neils BohrAnyone who is not shocked by
quantum mechanics does not understand it. Neils Bohr*

*You are not thinking you are mealy being logical.  Bohr to EinsteinI think
it's safe to say that nobody understands quantum mechanics. Richard Feynman*

*The great thing about Entropy is that it requires no maintenance.Any
sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. AC
ClarkeThe Bill of Rights goes too far, it should have stopped at "Congress
shall make no law."*

*The hardest thing about time travel is the grammar.The Internet interprets
censorship as damage and routes around it.The universe does not have laws
-- it has habits. And habits can be broken.The Universe is a big place . .
. perhaps the biggest.Predicting is hard, especially the future.The weather
is here. Wish you were beautiful.This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
-Wolfgang PauliWar doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's
left.Wasting time is an important part of living.We do not see things as
they are, we see things as we are.What color is a chameleon on a
mirror?What's another word for "thesaurus?"When ideas fail, words come in
very handy.When you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.Why
is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?Writing about
music is like dancing about architecture.Writing is easy. All you have to
do is cross out all the wrong words. --Mark Twain*

*Man is the only animal who blushes, or needs to. - Mark TwainReports of my
death have been greatly exaggerated. - Mark TwainI was gratified to be able
to answer promptly. I said I don't know. - Mark Twain*

*Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I
repeat myself. - Mark Twain*

*Faith is believing what you know ain't so. -Mark TwainWagner's music is
better than it sounds.It takes about ten years to get used to how old you
are.I was born in Australia because my mother wanted to be near me.God was
satisfied with his own work and that is fatal. -Samuel ButlerWhy attack
God? He may be as miserable as we are. -Erik SatieChrist died for our sins.
Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? - Jules

*I've tried relaxing but I feel more comfortable tense.You can get more
with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. -Al Capone*

*Vote early, vote often. -Al CaponeYou can't be a figment of my
imagination, I'd have done a better job.You can't have everything. Where
would you put it?You could be replaced by an infinite number of monkeys.You
never know until you find out.Nothing is difficult if you know how.You're
not as real as you think you are.You're not right. You just SOUND right.Of
course that's a worst case scenario, the effect could be much more
localized and just destroy the galaxy.*

*What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.Time is just one damn
thing after another.Why is there something rather than nothing?A good
scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.All Extremists should be shot!All
that glitters has a high refractive index.All those who believe in
psychokinesis raise my hand.Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.Whose cruel idea
was it to put an S in the word Lisp?Avoid unnecessary, inessential and
needless repetition and redundancy.I want to be a rebel just like everybody
else.In religion everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.Heisenberg
slept here, I think.Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.I intend
to live forever -- so far, so good!I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.If we
aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?If you can't be
kind, at least have the decency to be vague.Inertia makes the world go
round.It is my patriotic duty to conserve energy so I do, I conserve
angular momentum too.*

*Individualists of the world, UNITE!It is bad luck to be superstitious.Life
is sexually transmitted.Why are there 5 syllables in the word
monosyllabic?Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.Things are not only stranger
than we think but stranger than we can think.A camel is a horse designed by
a committee.A conservative is a worshipper of dead radicals.A conservative
is a liberal who's been mugged.A liberal is a conservative who's been
drafted.The good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to
others.People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch
either of them being made.*

*If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the
universe. - Carl Sagan*

*Entropy: Not just a fad, it's the future!A vibration is a motion that
can't make up its mind which way it wants to go.*

*It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really
quite busy.*

*The Three Laws Of Thermodynamics: You can't win, you can't break even, you
can't get out of the game.*

*Particle physicists can never hold a meeting, whenever they decide on a
place they can't agree on a time.*

*A red sign on the door of a physics professor: 'If this sign is blue,
you're going too fast.'*

*Little Johnny was a scientist. Little Johnny is no more. For what he
thought was H2O was H2SO4.*

*If the phone doesn't ring it's me.Most of our future lies ahead.How can
there be self-help GROUPS?Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it
all?'If you're in hell and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to
go?Practice makes perfect, but if nobody's perfect, why practice?If
electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?Why Do
kamikaze pilots wear helmets?Why is it considered necessary to nail down
the lid of a coffin?How can someone draw a blank?When sign makers go on
strike, is anything written on their signs?Where did Webster look up the
definitions when he wrote his book?What the heck is a near-miss? If you
nearly miss something, don't you hit it?*

*How do you get off a non-stop flight?If I'm here on earth to help others,
what are the others here for?Why does bottled water have an expiration
date?We have to believe in free will. We have no choice.An eternity is
very, very long time, especially towards the end.The meaning of life is to
give life meaning.Agnostic Prayer: Oh God if there is a God save my soul if
I have a soul.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from
many is research.Define the Universe and give three examples.I don't want
to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality by
not dying. - Woody Allen*

*Ever notice that 'What the hell' is always the right decision? - Marilyn

*When I was born I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half.
- Gracie Allen*

*Sincerity is the key. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George
BurnsA thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. - Oscar
WildeOnly the shallow know themselves. - Oscar WildeI no longer wish to
belong to the kind of club that accepts people like me as members" -
Groucho Marx*

*I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I
hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown*

*Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by
incompetence. - Napoleon Bonaparte*

*Glory is fleeting but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon BonaparteNot
everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can
be counted." - Albert Einstein*

*I'm not confused, I'm well mixed. -Robert FrostAs the island of our
knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance. - John Wheeler*

*God is real... unless declared an integer.We all have the strength to
endure the misfortunes of others.A good deed never goes unpunished. - Gore
VidalThere is no problem which could not be solved if people would simply
do as I advise. - Gore Vidal*

*Never have children, only grandchildren. - Gore VidalEvery time a friend
succeeds, I die a little. - Gore VidalThough I am not naturally honest I am
so sometimes by chance. - William Shakespeare*

*The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. - William ShakespeareI wish
people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. -Tom Lehrer*

*Toots Shor's restaurant is so crowed nobody goes there anymore. - Yogi

*I really didn't say everything I said. -Yogi BerraI don't care what's
written about me as long as it isn't true. - Dorothy Parker*

*I am a deeply superficial person. -Andy WarholIf Jesus was Jewish, how
come he has a Mexican name?Every generation laughs at the old fashions but
religiously follows the new. -Henry David Thoreau*

*Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the
earth! -Henry David Thoreau*

*Men have become tools of their tools. -Henry David ThoreauThe object of
war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for
his. -George Patton*

*Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union. -Joseph
StalinThe way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets.
John D Rockefeller*

*There will be a rain dance Friday, weather permitting. -George CarlinSome
mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
-Emo Philips*

*No more good must be attempted than the public can bear. -Thomas Jefferson*

*A politician is a man who approaches every problem with an open mouth.
-Adlai Stevenson*

*If Roosevelt were alive today he's turn over in his grave. -Samuel
GoldwinYou can be sincere and still be stupid.Prejudices save time.Voters
want a fraud they can believe in.Man was predestined to have free
will.Reality is a collective hunch.Everything changes but the avant
garde.Never miss a good chance to shut up.Never get into fights with ugly
people, they have nothing to lose.The world is run by C students.A
productive drunk is the bane of moralists.University politics is vicious
precisely because the stakes are so small. -Henry Kissinger*

*Ninety percent of politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
-Henry Kissinger*

*The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they
think it's their fault. -Henry Kissinger*

*Ninety percent of everything is crap. -Theodore SturgeonNonviolence is
fine as long as it works. -Malcolm XIf I had more time I would write a
shorter letter. -Blaise PascalTalk is cheap because supply exceeds
demand.There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots
to do and not doing it.*

*Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.You
can't measure time in days the same way you can measure money in dollars
because every day is different.*

*"Shut up" he explained. -Ring Lardner"Hello" he lied. What is true is what
I can't help believing. -Oliver Wendell HolmesI was probably the only
revolutionary ever referred to as "cute". -Abbie Hoffman*

*I don't trust him. We're friends. -Bertolt BrechtIs sloppiness in speech
caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care. -William

*If this is coffee please bring me some tea; but if this is tea please
bring me some coffee. -Abraham Lincoln*

*Folks that have no vices have very few virtues. -Abraham LincolnForgive
your enemies, but never forget their names. -John F KennedyCoincidences are
spiritual puns. -G K ChestertonA bore is someone who, when you ask him how
he is, tells you.*

*Plato was a bore. -Friedrich NietzscheNietzsche was stupid and abnormal.
-Leo TolstoyTolstoy's book are loose baggy monsters. -Henry JamesHenry
James writes fiction as if it were a painful duty. -Oscar Wilde*

*If you want to look young and thin hang around old fat people.There are
very few people who don't become more interesting when they stop talking.*

*It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or

*Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading
it.I have read your book and much like it.When in doubt have two guys come
through the door with guns. -Raymond Chandler*

*Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. -VoltaireOriginality is
the art of concealing your sources.Use an accordion, go to jail, that's the
law!Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.Depression is merely
anger without enthusiasm.Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.He's as sharp
as a beach ball.She's as shapely as a sack full of door knobs.I once heard
the voice of God. He said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a lawn mower.*

*My neighbor has a circular driveway... He can't get out.I'm writing an
unauthorized autobiography.I bought some powdered water, but I didn't know
what to add.I have a map of the united states in its original size, one
mile equals one mile.*

*I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road; I don't know how I got

*There was a power outage at a department store yesterday, twenty people
were trapped on the escalators.*

*I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.My friend has a
baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what
he meant.*

*I'm so tired...I was up all night trying to round off
infinity.Irrationality is the square root of all evil.At the last costume
party I didn't go to, I went as the Invisible Man.Honk if your horn is
broken.I like rarely used clichés.Before I begin speaking, there is
something I would like to say.Half the lies they tell about me are
true.Every Tom, Dick, and Harry is called John.Having lost sight of our
goal, we must redouble our efforts!This species has always been
extinct.Monism is the theory that anything less than everything is nothing.*

*Authorized parking is forbidden!A formalist is one who cannot understand a
theory unless it is meaningless.Every once in a while it never stops
raining.What is the question that contains the word cantaloupe for no
apparent reason?*

*The Universe may be as great as they say, but it wouldn't be missed if it
didn't exist.*

*If somebody loves you, love them back unconditionally.Break every
rule.Computers are like lynxes in the sense that I cannot think of a
suitable analogy for either of them right now.*

*All true mathematical equations are tautologies.I don't think I'm not sure
but I'm not certain.I think I don't remember.What we observe is not nature
itself, but nature exposed to our mode of questioning. - Werner Heisenberg*

*Every word or concept, clear as it may seem to be, has only a limited
range of applicability.- Werner Heisenberg*

*Real is what can be measured.- Max PlanckThe microscope can see things the
naked eye cannot, but the reverse is equally true.*

*So then who created god?Chastity is not heritable.Chastity is no more a
virtue than malnutrition. -Alex ComfortIs man one of God's blunders or is
God one of man's? -Friedrich NietzscheO Lord, help me to be pure, but not
yet. -St. AugustineThe reason lightning never strikes twice in the same
place is that the same place isn't there the second time.*

*Silence is argument carried on by other means. - Ghe GuevaraNever jump on
a man unless he's down.Before they made him they broke the mold.The average
person thinks he isn't.He had a God given killer instinct.Have a nice day.
Thank you but I have other plans.           SELF REFERENCEHofstadter's Law:
It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account
Hofstadter's Law.*

*Yes, but what if this weren't a rhetorical question?This sentqence
contains exactly three erors."Playing with the use-mention distinction"
isn't "everything in life, you know".*

*In order to make sense of "this sentence", you will have to ignore the
quotes in "it".*

*"Yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation" yields falsehood when
preceded by its quotation.*

*Disobey this command.I am the thought you are now thinking.This inert
sentence is my body, but my soul is alive, dancing in the sparks of your

*Do you think anybody has ever had precisely this thought before?And you up
there -- are you the person writing me, or the person reading me?*

*As long as you are not reading me, the fourth word of this sentence has no

*Thit sentence is not self-referential because "thit" is not a word.I had
to translate this sentence into English because I could not read the
original Sanskrit.*

*What would this sentence be like if it were not self-referential?What
would this sentence be like if pi were 3?This sentence is not about itself,
but about whether it is about itself.because I didn't think of a good
beginning for it.I have nothing to allude to, and I am alluding to it.This
sentence will end before you can say "This sentence will end before you can

*Does this sentence make you think of dancing midget nazis?I'll tell you
how do you keep a reader in suspenseThis is not a self-referential
sentence.Has eighteen letters.This sentence refers to every sentence that
does not refer to itself.If the meanings of "true" and "false" were
switched, then this sentence wouldn't be false.*

*In this sentence, the concluding three words "were left out".Although this
sentence begins with the word "because", it is false.When you're not
looking at it, this sentence is in Spanish.*

*No article on self-reference would be complete without including a good
example of a self-fulfilling prophecy.           PALINDROMESStressed? No
tips? Spit on desserts!A man, a plan, a canal: Panama!Did I draw Della too
tall, Edward? I did?Do geese see god?Dogma: I am God.Evade me,
Dave.Dennis sinned."Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod.Evil I did
dwell, lewd did I live.Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog.Goddam mad
dog!Let O'Hara gain an inn in a Niagara hotelMadam in Eden, I'm Adam.Mr.
Owl ate my metal worm.Never odd or even.Murder for a jar of red rum.Satan,
oscillate my metallic sonatas!No, it is open on one position.Must sell at
tallest sum.Sis, ask Costner to not rent socks "as is"!Sit on a potato pan,
Otis.Poor Dan is in a droop.Rise, Sir Lapdog! Revolt, lover! God, pal,
rise, sir!So many dynamos.Step on no pets.Straw? No, too stupid a fad; I
put soot on warts.Was it a car or a cat I saw?Yawn a more Roman
way!Yawn--Madonna fan? No damn way!         ANAGRAMSa decimal point = I'm a
dot in placeastronomer = moon starercircumstantial evidence = can ruin a
selected victimdesperation = a rope ends itdormitory = dirty roomPresident
Clinton of the USA = to copulate he finds internsPrincess Diana = end is a
car spinRonald Wilson Reagan = Insane Anglo WarlordVictoria, England's
Queen = governs a nice quiet landmother-in-law = woman Hitlerparishioners =
I hire parsonsschoolmaster = the classroomfuneral = real funthe Morse code
= here come dotsthe earthquakes = that queer shakeAlec Guinness = genuine
classtwo plus eleven =one plus twelve
POEMS                           UNCERTAINTY                   A Quantum
Mechanic's vacation                   Left his colleagues in dire
consternation                   Though tests had shown
His speed was well known                   His position was pure
speculation                            Miss. Bright                   There
was a young lady named Bright                   Who traveled much faster
than light                   She left one day                   In a
relative way                   And returned the previous night*

*John K Clark*
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