[extropy-chat] rhymes with chasm

[Spike]

> Then it occurred to me that there are very few
> words that rhyme with orgasm: ...This shortage in
> English sure makes it difficult to write poetry... spike

And music too!  Such an unfortunate shortage relating
to nearly everyone's favorite thing.  Consider if we
were to attempt a modern remake of the Rogers & Hammerstein
classic "The Sound of Music".  Every moviemaker knows
a G rating kills profits, plus the original definitely
needs to be sexed up a bit.  

In the modern version, consider the scene with the
thunderstorm and the Von Trapp children are 
cowering in Sister Maria's room.  The key to 
a successful remake is to cleverly mix the 
gaggy sweetness of the original with the 
modern touch: intriguing suggestiveness.

Maria instructs that children that when the 
dog bites, when the bee stings, she thinks 
of her favorite things.  Suggested new version:

Raindrops on roses and biting sarcasm,
Fluffy warm kittens, a multi-orgasm,
Whips, snowflakes, chains, doves
And leather cock rings
These are a few of my favorite things.

etc.

Think of how different that movie would have been,
had Maria been singing THAT when the Captain
burst into the room.  It would surely get the
desired R rating, and become a box office smash.

Granted, the children would have been puzzled.  
(On the other hand, Leisl seemed a sporty type, 
and she must have been suspicious by that time 
of her boy Rolf's orientation, the way he resisted 
her advances at the gazebo and all the furtive 
meetings between him and the old butler Hans.)  

Had Sister Maria sung it the new way, the next scene 
woulda been the Captain scouring the seedy section 
of Salzburg to find a 24 hour fetish shop.
Word would spread quickly and Von Trapp's Navy 
buddies would soon be hanging around the old 
convent looking for some action.  This would
greatly improve the movie.

spike