[extropy-chat] VR-BAR: Harv's back!

[Harvey Newstrom]

Spike wrote,
> Then it occurred to me that there are very few
> words that rhyme with orgasm: spasm, sarcasm,
> grokasm.  Others?

Harv's slumped form lifted up off the table as he counted on his fingers,
"Chasm, cytoplasm, ectoplasm, endoplasm, grokasm, orgasm, phantasm, plasm,
protoplasm, sarcasm, spasm, ...um..."  He wiggled his fingers trying to coax
more knowledge out of the air.  "Er, ...as 'em, has 'em, jazz 'em, pizzazz
'em, raz 'em, razzamatazz 'em..."  The blond and brunette just stared at him
wide-eyed.  Even the slime-mold had stopped undulating.

"What?  Too far?"  Harv looked at them questioningly.  "You didn't like
'grokasm'?"

The blond's jaw hung open.  Throat muscles moved, but there was no sound.  A
piece of sushi slipped from an interrupted pair of chopsticks.  Silence
echoed between songs.  Somewhere on a distant dance-floor a cyberdog howled.

The brunette recovered first.  "We thought you were dead."

Harv tilted his head even further than usual.

"We've been letting the slime-mold extract your decaying bodily fluids," the
blond finally was able to speak. 

Harv snapped his head up straight as he scowled at the slime-mold, who by
this time had quietly oozed half-way to the opposite side of the table.

"We would have shared your queued-up drinks with you," the brunette
stammered defensively, "if, um, you know, we had known you were alive."

"What time is it?" Harvey looked at the nanotattoo of a watch on his wrist.

"It's been four months since you were last conscious in here," the blond
declared, "You were drinking that drink and logged off mad."  

Harv picked up the empty bottle of Rip van Winkle's Zombie-Maker and
scrolled the label display to reveal the ingredients.  "It's either a very
hard Long Island Iced Tea or a very soft cryopreservative... with artificial
flavorings."  The robotender picked up the empty bottle as soon as it was
set down, and then was gone.  His voice floated behind him very faintly and
very fast, "Drinking this beverage confirms legal consent to all label
disclaimers.  Suing prohibited by bar policy.  Please drink responsibly."

"I remember fighting in here," Harv said, setting down the bottle and
looking around.  "But it seems quiet now."  He turned his hovering chair all
the way around before facing the table again.  "Wow.  They fixed all the
damage and remodeled the place."

"That's it?  You're back now?"  The brunette poured more sake into three
little cups and pushed one of them toward Harv.  The blond resumed sushi
consumption.  The music continued.

"If I have time."  Harvey tossed back the first sake in one gulp.  "I've
been busy in the real world.  I got my more certifications for my security
work.  My partner got more hardware wired into his heart.  And his mother is
entering the final stages of total memory failure."

The brunette sympathetically poured more sake for Harv.  The slime-mold
flowed back to its usual position.  The blonde paused the chopsticks,
looking expectantly at Harv.

"But otherwise..."  He took sip of sake and paused thoughtfully.  "Yeah.
I'm back."

-- 
Harvey Newstrom, CISSP, CISA, CISM, IAM, IBMCP, GSEC
Certified IS Security Pro, Certified IS Auditor, Certified InfoSec Manager,
NSA Certified Assessor, IBM Certified Consultant, SANS Certified GIAC
<HarveyNewstrom.com> <Newstaff.com>