[extropy-chat] Bully Magnets

[The Avantguardian]

--- Lee Corbin <lcorbin at rawbw.com> wrote:

> I am still so upset and inflamed at The
> Avantguardian's post
> that I must say more.

I hope you take what I said in the spirit it was
intended. I meant not to offend you, just to get you
to examine yourself. One can shore up a weakness,
reinforce it, and make it strong but only if you are
self-honest in seeing it for what it is. To simply
deny the weakness does not make it go away. It just
makes it a permanent vulnerability. 

> Stuart wrote
> 
> > [Lee wrote]
> >> Why don't you and some of the
> >> other idealists here go into the tough
> >> parts of town and see how far you
> >> get rendering niceties to the gangs
> >> you encounter there?
> > 
> > I have, Lee. I have gone into such neighborhoods
> many
> > times in the past and I am sure I will again in
> the
> > future. For her part, Samantha would probably fare
> > much better than you in those parts of town too.
> 
> And you think it's acceptable that people "those
> parts
> of town" can get away with beating up,  mugging and
> robbing people?

No. But neither do I think it's acceptable that our
military is torturing people, putting civilians at
risk (even if they are not OUR civilians), and doing
idiotic things like shooting Iraqi shepherds' flocks
for sport. Nor is it acceptable that the government is
spying, detaining, and possibly torturing, American
citizens without a trial.

You talk about how wrong it is to stand idly by while
bullies victimize others? George W. Bush is the
biggest bully of them all. He is beyond a bully, he is
practically an incarnation of fear and death. He has
killed over 500,000 people including the American
troops lost in Iraq and the American criminals he
executed as governor of Texas. Furthermore he has left
us in debt, over-extended, and vulnerable. In short, I
would rather walk the inner city any day than to trust
Bush, or Cheney for that matter, anywhere but in
maximum security prison. And the democrats? Spineless
fools they are. 

> It's not fear.  It's my utter contempt and hatred
> of bullies that does it.  Yes, I was a "bully
> magnet",
> as you put it, in school, and I suppose I still am.
> Yes, I was afraid of them.  But I always stood my
> ground, too, and I did get beat up a couple of
> times.

A wise little green man who never existed once said,
"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads
to suffering." If you give in to hating, you will have
slipped even further to the "dark side" and the
bullies will not have been diminished one iota. In
fact, they may increase because you might have become
one of them. 
 
> > If I can sense it over the Internet, you will look
> > irresistable to the desperate souls in any "tough"
> > neighborhood.  [DESPERATE SOULS, he
> > calls them!!]
> 
> And that will be *my* fault, I suppose!
> 
> How in God's name can you blame the victims
> the way you're doing?  I despair at the moral
> cowardice of not standing up to bullies and
> hoodlums.

Victimizer-victim is an evolved social dynamic, just
like any other. As such it is reciprocal and not
unilateral. Victimizers could not exist in a world
that did not have people that allowed themselves to be
victims. Why allow yourself to be a victim? 

> But I absolutely HATE those who in any way
> defend the hoodlums and bullies because their
> victims were "bully magnets" or were "asking
> for it".

There you go hating again. Do you still not see the
innate weakness and ultimate futility of hate? I am
not defending bullies at all. I am urging you to take
responsibility for your own situation and not blame
"bullies" for your victim status. I am urging you to
refuse to be a victim. NOT by graduating to
victimizer, mind you. But instead by leaving the cycle
of fear and violence completely.  
 
> "Desperate souls", you call them.  Oh, the poor
> things.  They drag people out of cars and beat
> them to death, or merely rob them.  The poor
> things!  And who's to really blame?  Let me
> guess: our society that does not meet their
> "needs". 

No. Most have but themselves to blame. Growing up in
"tough" neighborhoods, getting robbed and beaten up
all the time. Being vicitized time and time again
until that magic day when they get their dark epiphany
of power, and graduate from victim to victimizer. Lo
and behold, a thug is born.
 
> Oh, no.  I misspoke.  It's the people in the cars
> who go into the wrong neighborhoods who are
> to blame because they are "bully magnets".  In
> like manner, the women who dress wrong are just
> "asking for it", and deserve to be raped?  Just
> wondering.

When your decisions (or indecision) put you in harms
way, you cannot shift the culpability to others.
Ultimate responsibility for the self lies with the
self. Maybe in the eyes of the law you can pin blame
on others, but not in the eyes of natural selection or
karma.
 
> This really pushes my buttons because I do very
> much remember the way it was in high school,
> and how my "friends" would blame *me* because
> I got picked on.  

If there was no truth to it then why does it bother
you so much? 
 
> I now see what I should have done. I was pretty
> strong myself, and I should have balled up my
> fist and punched out my so-called friends.  Then
> they'd  see that I was really one of the good guys,
> one of the bullies who cannot be blamed.  I guess.

No. You would have merely changed partners in the
"dance of death" and become the victimizer instead of
the victim.
 
> Oh---I forgot---you probably already support
> the ACLU, and they surely lean over backwards
> to make sure that inner city gangs are not overly
> bothered by the police or anyone, and are 
> probably working as hard as they can to see
> that inner city criminals qualify for welfare
> programs.

Well its not the ACLU's or the gangster's fault that
police officers would rather bust some kids for
smoking pot than get into the gun battles to clear out
the inner-city. Some of the gangs probably even have
connections inside the police department. 
 
> These animals---and that is the mildest term I
> have for them---these animals who thrive on
> crime and a repudiation of everything that is
> good or noble in our civilization   all deserve
> to be rounded up and executed.

Shall we tatoo numbers on them and throw them into
concetration camps first? Animals? Hitler called the
jews rats to convince people it was politically
correct to do precisely what you advocate.
 
> And those like you who fail to recognize evil
> are in my eyes little short of evil themselves.

Hate is evil, no matter who you hate or why. Love is
more powerful anyways. I could not have hurt you so
much with "bully-magnet" remark had I not loved you
enough to know it to be true. It is too easy, almost
unsportingly so, to hurt those you love. For this
reason above all others, you should always love your
enemies and tread carefully amongst your friends. I am
sorry I had to hurt you to teach you that lesson, but
maybe it will stick with you because of it.



Stuart LaForge
alt email: stuart"AT"ucla.edu

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." - Phillip K. Dick


 
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