[ExI] Avoiding Coarseness in our Dialogs

[Lee Corbin]

Alex writes

> Hi Lee,
> I believe you may be misjudging awareness here...
> I spend most of my life dealing with the mental problems
> of such kids as are spoken of below  [and their parents].

Alex is referring to BillK's narrative:

> > I can only speak for the UK, but the constant use of swearing in their
> > [teenagers'] normal conversation is very prevalent. You only need to
> > walk around the mall, or listen on public transport,  whenever a group
> > get together. They don't think of it as swearing, it is just normal for
> > them. When they get angry, and want to swear, they run into problems
> > communicating their displeasure because they haven't got any
> > 'forbidden' words left to use. So violence is the easy way of
> > expressing anger.

> Having it in your face all the time can get a bit  much
> even when you think you're making a difference.
> When it does, I go online and have a laugh with
> friends. It charges my batteries to face another
> round of reality.
> I realise it could look entirely facile to those who
> don't know me,

Not at all. It's very believable and (probably, given
my own limitations) very wise.

> and I'm familiar with the exasperation when people
> seem to laugh an issue off that seems to me of great
> importance. But the joy of humor is one of the parts
> of being human that gives some people strength...

Oh, I have *utterly* no problem with humor of any
kind. But to illustrate the problem, let me turn to 
racial or ethnic humor.  

Yes:  Axiom 1 is that humor gets a pass regardless,
except when done in the presence of those who
are its target, in which case it is rude.

But what about when racist jokes indicate an
*acceptance* of certain attitudes or beliefs on
the part of the jokesters?  Well, we all pretty
much agree here that there is then a REAL
PROBLEM quite apart from the humor, and
the humor can be presented as evidence of 
this separate problem.  What we definitely
want to avoid is allowing our humor (say about
you-name-it) to blind us to our prejudices, or,
in the present instance, cause there to be within
us a failure to be intolerable towards that which
is unacceptable.

> ...So let's hear it for the giggles...and the rap...

Right there, of course, is where you're losing me.
Axiom 0 is:  there is no accounting for taste. It
immediately follows that efforts on the part of
someone to suggest that there is *real* value
in Mendelssohn or Dvorak, and that those who
can't see it are closing their eyes, or aren't "cool"
are not only deeply misguided, but actually quite
harmful.

Are you speaking of making fun of rap, by parody?
I don't think so!

> and the serious stuff that the things we enjoy
> keep us balanced enough to face.
> Best,
> AR

Thanks Alex---but is there any danger here of some
people using their own appreciation of rap to mask
the kind of problems that BillK is addressing, all the
way down to (see below) the replacement of 
standard written English with a sort of pidgen?

Either one thinks that these *are* serious problems,
or one does not.

Lee

--------------------------------------------------------------------

> Lee Corbin wrote:
> 
> Yes, yes, yes, have a good laugh!  Laugh and the world laughs with you.
> Laughter is the best medicine.
> 
> It also helps you avoid *real* problems, making it conveniently unnecessary
> to ignore reports like BillK's where he wrote on 5/3, 9:34 AM
> 
> > I can only speak for the UK, but the constant use of swearing in their
> > [teenagers'] normal conversation is very prevalent. You only need to
> > walk around the mall, or listen on public transport,  whenever a group
> > get together. They don't think of it as swearing, it is just normal for
> > them. When they get angry, and want to swear, they run into problems
> > communicating their displeasure because they haven't got any
> > 'forbidden' words left to use. So violence is the easy way of
> > expressing anger.
> 
> Tut tut, BillK, you just gotta learn to laugh!  Moreover, let Randall
> clue you into some really great Rap, and soon you can be singin'
> and dancin' away at just how da whores oughtta be cut up and fucked.
> (I, certainly, dare not replace the latter with "------", after all, to 
> avoid shocking certain sensitive types.)
> 
> Lee
> 
> > Look at the stuff they post in chat rooms, on MySpace, or text
> > messages. It is almost constant, never-ending profanity and explicit
> > sexual references. (All with spelling mistakes as they use 'text'
> > language and a sort of pidgin English).