[ExI] abandoning translations

[Spike]

> bounces at lists.extropy.org] On Behalf Of scerir
...
> write down an email to this address here below...


I took my baby to the doctor last night at Stanford.  He is better now
thanks (the baby I mean, not the doctor).  In the waiting room there was a
poster that offered free translator services.  It was written in twenty
languages, eight of which were European languages.  I noticed that of those
eight, Italian was the one that was easiest for English-only speakers to
understand.  Perhaps it is because English uses a number of Latin-based
words.  

For instance, one can almost get the drift of Italian, by looking at the
apparent common Latin base, and thus roughly translate.  Using my method on
scerir's passage, for instance, yields the following:


> Si prega prendere nota che ho dato,

Yes, the noted Communist revolutionary Guevara was dating a harlot who was
pretending to be pregnant...

> in data odierna, a mezzo lettera raccomandata,

...the data stinks, but a mess of letters recommend that...

> formale disdetta dal contratto in essere

...the formerly male person who is opposed to rats was insincere.

> Dovendo lasciare, a breve, la mia attuale residenza in Italia...

The lascivious dove was short, but the actress Farrow actually resides in
Italy... 

> per trasferirmi all'estero, si prega di comunicarmi via email...

...She transferred all her female hormones, yes, and she communicates her
Karma (plural) thru email...

> con la maggior sollecitudine possibile, 

...with the finest possible selection of fly larvae. 

> il luogo - il più vicino al mio presente domicilio -

...she was sick, very sick in the vicinity of my present house! (ewwww)

> dove io possa riconsegnare l'apparecchio modem DSL a suo tempo

...Jupiter's volcanic satellite has modems with fast DSL...

> noleggiatomi da Tele2.

...but I have no legs with which to escape the atomic weapons, so I watch
the Teletubbies on channel 2.



So you see, this isn't a literal translation of course, but with my
paraphrase you get the general drift of the passage.  All this I can do,
without actually studying Italian for a single day, not a minute!  It is
unclear why scerir would suggest sending this particular message to the
Italian bureaucrats, but he knows them better than I do.  Perhaps it is some
kind of code the insiders use to get things done quickly.  

In any case, I should apply for a job at the Italian embassy as a
translator.  Nations would get along so much better if they use my system
for paraphrasing diplomatic messages.

spike


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