[ExI] proton measurement upset

Jeff Davis jrd1415 at gmail.com
Thu Jul 8 23:52:09 UTC 2010

Take a deep breath, Gregory, and here, put this paper bag over your head.
Okay, now go to your happy place........

Before we go all "The sky is falling!  The sky is falling!." how about
distracting oneself with some dilletantishly inept splainin'.

How's this:

Proton made of sub-elements called Quarks, ya?  Distinct entities these
quarks, ya?   Of Mr. Proton there be three, ya?  Inherently dynamic slash
mobile, ya?    Whether quantum or classical be the idiom, ya?   Movement,
motion, waveforms all pulsatile, ya?  Frenzied they be, ya?  Scurrying to
and fro, 'bout the plank matrix, ya?    Dancing with the Lepton who
brung'em, ya?

Dance lepton!  Dance quarks!   White lab coats watch, white lab coats
measure.  The sacred data gathered be.  Crunch your numbers, dark mutants of
algorythmic prophecy.  Crunch, crunch.  Aaaaaaaah!  Now tell of the embrace
of the three quarks and their Lepton.  They keep the thrill of her touch at
what remove?  "n" you say.  They like her that much?  The night is young,
the sweet whine of the particle accelerator thrills the air, if this music
be the mood of entanglement, mu on.

"Muon?", you say.  And here she comes.   Burly and robust in her
Lepton-hood, she boots her spindly sister-lepton out of orbit with a flip of
eigenvector, and localizes the domain of her briefly destabilized quark
triplet.   She grips them tightly, more tightly than one might suppose.  And
the dance is on.

"They call me unstable!" she announces with defiant playfulness, "But
they're just envious.  It's so boring to be unreactive.  Hold me close
darlings, I want to feel that strong force.  Closer still.  If you love me,
suck in your waveforms, boys.  There you go.  That's got it.  Four percent.
Singular talent.  You put the "pro" in proton.  I'll bond with you boys

So you see, Gregory, everything is alright.  Theories come and go.  It's the
way of things.  Not to worry.  Tomorrow we'll have a little ceremony and
bury the old theory in the backyard, right next to Nasa's pre-eminence, and
the US Constitution.  Now now, don't cry.

Best, Jeff Davis

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who
         said it--no matter if I have said it--unless it agrees with
                    your own reason and your common sense."

2010/7/8 Gregory Jones <spike66 at att.net>

> --- On *Thu, 7/8/10, Damien Broderick <thespike at satx.rr.com>* wrote:
> ...Measurements with lasers have revealed that the proton may be a touch
> smaller than predicted by current theories...
> A touch smaller?  4% is huuuge.  Did they mean 4 parts per billion?  I know
> it is premature judgment and all that, but this result must be wrong,
> waaaaay wrong.  I can't imagine how this could be right.  No way!  Can't be,
> just can't.  That result messes up quantum theory all to holler.  Actually
> it messes up more than just quantum theory.
> spike
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