[ExI] Zombie Jesus

[Damien Broderick]

On 5/20/2010 1:43 PM, David Lubkin wrote:
> Vampires are also trendy and undead. Since Jesus could turn
> water to wine, and the communion wine transubstantiates into
> the blood of Christ, would he need to bite necks? Wouldn't he
> be attracted to crosses and holy water, rather than repelled?

I thought everyone knew Jesus was a vampire.

He taught his followers to drink blood and eat flesh (touch of the 
zombie there, granted--maybe a hybrid).

He could fly.

He was finished off with a stake driven into his heart.

Of course he (like all vampires) is afraid of crosses; that's why the 
Romans used a cross to attempt to kill him.

He slept in a crypt after he was "killed" and then woke up and flew off.

Holy water--Probably something some heretic introduced; Jesus never 
taught its use. Oil, yes, and tears.

Damien Broderick