[ExI] Zombie Jesus

[John Grigg]

On 5/20/10, Damien Broderick <thespike at satx.rr.com> wrote:
> On 5/20/2010 1:43 PM, David Lubkin wrote:
>> Vampires are also trendy and undead. Since Jesus could turn
>> water to wine, and the communion wine transubstantiates into
>> the blood of Christ, would he need to bite necks? Wouldn't he
>> be attracted to crosses and holy water, rather than repelled?
>
> I thought everyone knew Jesus was a vampire.
>
> He taught his followers to drink blood and eat flesh (touch of the
> zombie there, granted--maybe a hybrid).
>
> He could fly.
>
> He was finished off with a stake driven into his heart.
>
> Of course he (like all vampires) is afraid of crosses; that's why the
> Romans used a cross to attempt to kill him.
>
> He slept in a crypt after he was "killed" and then woke up and flew off.
>
> Holy water--Probably something some heretic introduced; Jesus never
> taught its use. Oil, yes, and tears.
>
> Damien Broderick
>


I googled "Jesus as a vampire" and was amazed by how much came up...

>From the "Uncyclopedia..."

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Zombie_Jesus

A comic strip...

http://fc05.deviantart.com/fs20/f/2007/231/2/2/Wait_by_kris_wilson.png

Pics from a zombieball...

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=369067301&albumId=903165

Attack of the "500 foot tall Jesus!"

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Attack_of_the_500_foot_Jesus

"WereJesus!"

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Werejesus

Jesus appears to have his own energy drink now...

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Jesus_Juice

"Cyborg Jesus..."

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cyborg_Jesus

Batman & Robin AND Jesus Christmas Special!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk1BLE4CaOk&feature=related

"Kung Fu Jesus..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B19bMWYtvRk&feature=related

A hit comic series that has Jesus fighting vampires (supposedly a
future Hollywood film)...

http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=6313#

"Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter (a very low budget film...)!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LRIypcaIX4

Jesus beats up the Olympians in this very cool comic...

http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2009/04/09/my-favorite-mid-90s-bad-ass-jesus-comic/

Comicbook Jesus website...

http://comicbookjesus.com/

Blasphemy...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_y-VA9-txHjQ/S7UnNSVb-nI/AAAAAAAAAVk/GOExGc8PM4U/s1600/Zombie-Jesus.jpg

A blog/chart about American Jesus...

http://leviauslander.com/blog/

"The Power Tactics of Jesus Christ"  A small gem of psychological analysis...

http://www.amazon.com/Power-Tactics-Jesus-Christ-Essays/dp/0931513057

"Jesus, in the name of the gun!"

http://joelamoroney.com/2009/08/10/jesus-christ-in-the-name-of-the-gun/

Manga Jesus!

http://praxishabitus.blogspot.com/2009/01/japanese-jesus-manga-comic-book.html

Jesus rides on a dinosaur!

http://static.open.salon.com/files/jesus_dinosaur1234467260.jpg

Hitler tries to kill Jesus, but doesn't get away with it!

http://thecraptastics.files.wordpress.com/2006/09/god.jpg

Jesus versus Zombies comic book!

http://paneltopanel.net/shop/product_info.php?products_id=2159

A Mormon superhero...

http://www.meridianmagazine.com/arts/041029comic.html

I hope I didn't manage to do this with my posting...

http://image3.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID8947/images/pissed-jesus.jpg

And finally, a site that looks to Greek texts in an attempt at better
understanding the teachings of Jesus...

http://christswords.com/

John  : )