[ExI] bull whoops ass

[spike]

>. On Behalf Of Natasha Vita-More
Subject: Re: [ExI] bull whoops ass

 

Hi Spike,

 

>. I loved being in all these regions of Spain because I didn't see any bull
fighting!  IMO, it is brutal and cruel.  Some are trying to outlaw it:
<http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/07/28/us-spain-catalonia-bullfighting-i
dUSTRE66R2X620100728>
<http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/07/28/us-spain-catalonia-bullfighting-i
dUSTRE66R2X620100728> but you can read the defense believes it to be a
national sport, centuries old. The facts are horrific:
<http://www.stopbullfighting.org.uk/facts.htm>
http://www.stopbullfighting.org.uk/facts.htm ; however, hopefully the more
awake and evolved humans will continue making their stand:
<http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/unleashed/2010/07/catalonia-becomes-second-
spanish-region-to-ban-bullfighting.html> Natasha

 

 

Hi Natasha, thanks for the links.

 

This whole thing has been simmering in my mind all weekend and putting me in
a foul mood, so do allow me this one rant, and I will let it go, or try to.
We are all allowed an occasional righteous rant here occasionally, if we
don't abuse the privilege, and this is mine.

 

I have long known of bullfighting, and try to not think about this practice
which I find most distasteful, for I have no moral high ground.  Not only do
I occasionally eat beef, I eat shrimp at every opportunity.  One bull can
feed an army of proles, but an army of shrimp must be slain to provide a
most tasty sushi-meal for a single prole.  Furthermore, the bull is a farm
animal one would suppose, but most shrimp are taken from the wild.  So this
isn't a moral argument exactly, although I may redouble my efforts to give
up shrimp and cut down even further on beef.

 

That being said, the thrust of my argument is simply fair play.  I cannot
find the answer to what happens to the bull in the rare event that he wins
the match.  After I saw the video, I seriously thought of creating and
distributing an internet cartoon, a snorting bull with spears in his back
and one bloody horn, with the caption: 

 

Care for el rematch-o, Senor One-eye?

 

I didn't do it, for that would be cruel humor, and cruelty is el matador's
department, not mine.

 

Regarding the notion that bullfighting is centuries old and is cultural, do
let us ignore the stunningly illogical reasoning process that leads to the
notion that somehow that makes it all OK.  Ummmm, well, never mind, let us
not ignore that.  Saying anything old and cultural is OK is just bullshit
and I don't like it.  Cultures evolve.  To resist cultural evolution opens
the door for all manner of egregious and distasteful mischief and
misanthropy, or in this case, misbeastopy.

 

So here is what I suggest.  We don't even need to pressure the bullfighting
culture to outlaw the practice, for that goes against my inner libertarian.
I consider it perfectly legitimate to pressure the Spanish government to
impose from the outside a sense of fair play, in this way.  Make it a
requirement that in the rare event that the bull wins, that bull must be
allowed to live, never to fight again.  A third party is given an option to
buy the beast and supply the veterinarian to patch his wounds.  Volunteers
would donate the money  (I would gladly contribute to that fund.) 

 

That bull is declared a champion forever.  Never again does he enter the
arena.  They patch him up, allow him to live his life breeding with the
heifers sired by other champion bulls.  That way, every bull from that
particular pasture has a father and moo-ternal grandfather which managed to
draw blood from el matador, or better yet to plunge an enraged horn up his
el asso, or cause him to retreat in terror from the ring in any fashion with
the bull still standing and snorting.  Over time, better and better El Toros
would evolve.  Future matadors beware.  OLE!

 

We set some kind of time limit, after which the match is called a draw, and
the bull lives to fight another day, or is up for option to buy for
Operation Bull-fighter Fighters (OBFF.)

 

No sawed-off horns.  Sharpened horns, bueno, muy bien.

 

Take all of the other participants out of the arena.  El Toro already has
odds stacked against him sufficiently, he shouldn't be distracted by half a
dozen other proles hanging around in the arena, there to protect El Matador.
If the bullfighter is so eager to demonstrate his courage, this is an even
more impressive opporutnity.  Go right ahead, Mister Testosterone, let's see
you go in there alone, you big strong brave hombre.  If the bull manages to
rip away half the matador's face as happened last week, and the matador is
down with the bull still standing, the spectators allowed to gasp in horror
and pray to their favorite deity, or if they are atheist bull fans, to
simply comment OLE.

 

If El Toro manages to injure in any way, or draw any blood from El Matador,
or even frighten the silly hombre into fleeing the arena, the bull is
declared winner and champion.  The losing matador is retired permanently.
There is no appeal.  

 

In the case of ambiguous injury, a panel of judges makes the call.  This
would be an example of a unanimous decision in favor of the bull:

 



 

OLE!

 

Apologies for entering this into the ExI archives, but it helps get this
burden off my chest.

 

Both participants of any murderous spectacle deserve a souvenir or memento.
The newly retired matador gets his swords back, but the bull gets to keep
the hat, along with any body parts the matador leaves in the arena, such as
the eyeball from last week.  The defeated matador gets a digital recording
of the terrified gasps and cries of the spectators as he was getting ass
whooped by a rightfully enraged hunk of beef.

 

Most bulls go to the slaughterhouse, where their chances of survival are
exactly zero.  In the arena, the bull's odds of victory are between slim and
grim out on the rim, but at least it is SOME chance.  This is loosely
analogous to cryonics, ja?  The slaughterhouse is then analogous to
traditional burial.  But if they slay the victorious bull anyway, in what
way is there ANY justice, or ANY justification in that sport?  They give the
bull a really bad afternoon which he never requested, with nothing in
return.  If they arrange for the tragically-infrequently victorious bull
live out his life in peace and copious love, well then I would say the arena
is actually preferable to the slaughterhouse, as cryonics is preferable to
the grave.  

 

Spaniards, go right ahead with your offensive cultural spectacle, but do
impose some fair play on the egregious practice.  

 

The rest of the world is watching and listening.

 

spike

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