[ExI] Stone age intuition was medical power of attorney

[Tara Maya]

> On Dec 9, 2014, at 11:11 PM, Rafal Smigrodzki <rafal.smigrodzki at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> For the vast majority of Americans, except the Amish and Quiverfull adherents, the number of offspring is not resource-constrained, and therefore there is no question of a trade-off between number and per-offspring parental investment that is the key to the K-r differentiation. 

Hahahahahahah! Really?! I dare you to join and Mommies and Me class in any urban center in America and then tell me that there is resource-contraint. (Count on $300 and 10 hours of your time per child for those lessons… no difference between one and three children? So glad you have an extra 30 hours and $900 lying around, because that’s just the start!) Do you have kids?! If you do, have you considered having twice the number you do now…what changes would that require you to make to your lifestyle? How about three times as many? Believe me, once you start adding up how much it costs to have six kids rather than two, and then compare trying to raise them in Hendersonville versus San Francisco, you would not say there is no difference between a K and an r strategy.


Here’s just a few of the expenses for typical K and r strategies:

House: 

K Selection  - urban or exurban location; each kid has own room; parents have home offices too

r Selection – small town or rural location; kids share rooms

 

Car: 

K Selection  - Two cars, one minivan and one sedan, both new (two career family needs two cars)

r Selection – One car, used

 

Travel to more distant places (international or interstate): 

K Selection  - Valued; by plane

r Selection – Not valued; if done, by bus or car

 

Pregnancy: 

K Selection  - Planned, timed around school and career, Lamaze classes, yoga, acupuncture, Duala, pre-natal enrichment, possibly fertility medicine

r Selection – Accidental (even when wanted)

 

Baby Stuff: 

K Selection  - new, brand-name strollers, cribs, nursery furniture, car seats, bouncers, walkers, toys, boutique clothing

r Selection – used/hand-me-down or big box store strollers & car seats & clothing

 

Pre-K Education: 

K Selection  - Preschool, Mommy & Me classes, many, many enrichment toys and activities aimed at toddlers

r Selection – None

 

Elementary & Secondary Education: 

K Selection  - private school or charter school or excellent school district (=more expensive house)

r Selection – public school or home schooling

 

Kid Stuff: 

K Selection  - bikes, swing sets, books, sports equipment, computers, phones, iPads, video games, toys, toys, toys

r Selection – used or cheaper toys, almost no electronic devices (even parents might not have home computer)

 

Cultural Enrichment:

K Selection  - Museums, art, science & computer training, swim lessons, typing lessons, music/dance lessons, sports practice, tutors, afterschool programs

r Selection – Church, extended family

 

College: 

K Selection  - Parents pay

r Selection – Kids pay or don’t go 



And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. We have three kids; we want one more. We went over our budget with a fine toothed comb, asking, “Can we afford it? Can we make sure all the kids still get all the attention and investment they need to thrive if we have another brain to feed?” It’s not like getting another dog, where we just have to buy a few galleons of extra Kid Chow. We want this child to feel loved, even spoiled. We want our child to do more than survive, we want her to THRIVE. We are not just up against the edge of our resources, we are OVER the edge. I mean, sure, unless we want to move to Kansas and let my hubby work at Walmart while I watch the kids full time.

In addition to all the base costs of having a larger family (larger car, larger house), there are per child costs. For a good rule of thumb, assume each kid to an urban or suburban costs a $1000 a month. That means:

1 kid = $1000
2 kids = $2000
5 kids = $5000
etc.

Honestly, even in America, a family has to think twice before they take on another mostly debt of $1000 or more.

Of course, there are some things you can save money on, like car seats, because you have them already, but these savings aren’t as great as you’d think. There are not much savings per child in an urban/suburban environment because you are mostly paying for things per child, like day care or soccer shoes or math lessons. A rural or small town family with a stay at home mom simply doesn’t pay as many of those per child costs. More of their main costs are going to be in clothing or food, where buying in bulk allows some savings. However, their children are less likely to get dancing, skiing or computer programming lessons and less likely to go to college (and that’s per child too, of course) and less likely to become urban professionals. I.e. this is a perfect example of K versus r selection.



Tara Maya
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