[ExI] wordplay for a tuesday morning

[spike]

Just because this "life" may all be just a simulation doesn't mean we can't
have some fun while we "think" "we" are "here."  spike


 1.  The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He
acquired his size from too much pi.

 2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian.

 3.  She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.

 4.  A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was
a weapon of math disruption.

 5.  No matter how much you push the envelope it'll still be stationery.

 6.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 7.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

 8.  Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.

 9.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking
into it.

 10.  Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

 11.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 12.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to
the other, "You stay here.  I'll go on a head."

 13.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

 14.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, "Keep off the Grass."

 15.  The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

 16.  The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

 17.  A backward poet writes inverse.

 18.  In a democracy, it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism, it's your
count that votes.

 20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

 21.  A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.  The
stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed
per passenger."

 22.  Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the
craft.  Not surprisingly it sank proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.

 23.  Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, "I've lost my electron."  The
other says, "Are you sure?"  The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

 24.  There was the person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that
at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.

 

{8^D

 

 

 

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