[ExI] wordplay for a tuesday morning

[William Flynn Wallace]

​"Mommy, Mommy, what is a woman's yet?"
"Dear, women don't have a yet?  Where did you get that idea?"
"Well, on TV they said that a woman had been shot and the bullet was in her
yet."

bill w​


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> Just because this “life” may all be just a simulation doesn’t mean we
> can’t have some fun while we “think” “we” are “here.”  spike
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>  1.  The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
> He acquired his size from too much pi.
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>  2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out
> to be an optical Aleutian.
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>  3.  She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.
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>  4.  A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it
> was a weapon of math disruption.
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>  5.  No matter how much you push the envelope it'll still be stationery.
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>  6.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
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>  7.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
> Blownapart.
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>  8.  Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.
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>  9.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are
> looking into it.
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>  10.  Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.
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>  11.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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>  12.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to
> the other, "You stay here.  I'll go on a head."
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>  13.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.
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>  14.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, "Keep off the Grass."
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>  15.  The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
> at large.
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>  16.  The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
> seasoned veteran.
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>  17.  A backward poet writes inverse.
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>  18.  In a democracy, it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism, it's your
> count that votes.
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>  20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
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>  21.  A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.  The
> stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed
> per passenger."
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>  22.  Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the
> craft.  Not surprisingly it sank proving once again that you can't have
> your kayak and heat it too.
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>  23.  Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, "I've lost my electron."  The
> other says, "Are you sure?"  The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
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>  24.  There was the person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that
> at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.
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> {8^D
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