[ExI] silly 'rules'

Dan danust2012 at gmail.com
Tue Sep 22 03:29:56 UTC 2015

On Sunday, September 20, 2015 10:56 PM Adrian Tymes <atymes at gmail.com> wrote:
[big snip of ending of "A Clean, Well-Lighted Place" by Ernest Hemingway]

> TBH, I too saw that particular story as somewhat boring and bland,
> a bad example of what stories can be and why they appeal.  Perhaps
> the biggest problem that stood out to me: too many lines that were
> all-dialogue, not indicating what was happening in the scene (or
> at least giving reminders who was speaking).

I don't want to deny your reaction, which is obviously the way it hit you. Still, for me, there wasn't a need for tagging in the dialogue. It worked, for me, well without it. There was enough description to set the stage. The story was really about how the one character reacts to this situation -- again, for me. More detail might have been distracting. (I'm not going to say it's perfect as it is -- as if it were a flawless gem incapable of any change without destroying the cut.)

> I've written quite a few stories over the years - some just for fun, some
> for sharing.  http://www.fanworks.org/view.php?storyid=373 is technically
> a fan work, but I think you'll be able to understand most of it without
> knowing the series it's based off of.  (Warning: it does get a bit dark,
> but I'm trying for something that's an obvious contrast with that Hemingway
> story.  Even if you can't quite describe what's different, hopefully you
> should at least be able to tell that something is indeed substantially
> different, other than just the length.)

Thanks! I'll take a look.

By the way, here's a short story I really love by Tobias Wolff that's very different from Hemingway's:


I hope it brings you more pleasure than the Hemingway story.


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