[ExI] [exl] Effect of National Geographic on Sexuality?

Thu Nov 15 23:08:57 UTC 2018

Ballard wrote:
The argument with HD streaming porn is unrealistic expectations. And maybe
that’s not a problem in your generation but it really is in mine. “Why
doesn’t your ___ look like this? Is _____ normal?” Etc.

Or a move toward... more extreme things earlier. Trust me, I’m all for
kink, like what you like, but the number of (straight) guys who won’t
accept anything less than anal, is, well, a bit bizarre?

As part of the sex course that I taught I developed a survey.  People in
relationships filled it out.  What was in it was various ways of having sex
and attitudes towards including other people, and so forth.  I warned the
class that this could be very dangerous to a relationship, and so it turned
out to be.  At least one couple broke up and several had big arguments.

It came down to a situation like "Wow, you want to do that?  I would not do
that in a million years,  It's gross", and similar remarks.  Men wanting a
threesome was a big turnoff for most women.  I should have published that
study.

>From the article Keith posted, I saw things that would never occur to me in
a billion years:  choking a partner on a first date - or hookup, or
whatever.

In my class I recommended that people who were going to have sex for the
first time, at least with that partner, discuss what was and what was not
going to go on.  The problem with that is that nobody wants to sit down and
have a discussion while sex is in the offing.  The counterargument is that
no one wants to be surprised by sex acts that are totally unwanted.

Men, and to a lesser extent, women, have a lot of ego tied up in their
sexual expertise.  Women are very likely to feel inferior about their
bodies.  Both are likely to have unrealistic expectations.

But the fact is that few people have good sex the first time, even if no
kinky stuff occurs.  Great first sex mostly occurs in novels.  Women get
too shy. (Playboy cartoon from long ago:  man and woman in bed afterwards,
and he says "I especially enjoyed that time when you moved."  Men get too
fast. Other timing errors occur.

The word 'demand' has no place in a sexual relationship, or any other kind
of relationship, for that matter - to me.  Total agreement, or no go.

bill w

On Thu, Nov 15, 2018 at 2:28 PM SR Ballard <sen.otaku at gmail.com> wrote:

> Like I said, I literally wasn’t even born yet in the period you mention
> (57-64), and actually neither were my parents. Which is why I have
> questions.
>
> I’m not implying NatGeo as dehumanizing/humanizing women, but cultures.
> Just like I said, do you think it had any influence on cultural relations
> or ethic interests etc?
>
> The argument with HD streaming porn is unrealistic expectations. And maybe
> that’s not a problem in your generation but it really is in mine. “Why
> doesn’t your ___ look like this? Is _____ normal?” Etc.
>
> Or a move toward... more extreme things earlier. Trust me, I’m all for
> kink, like what you like, but the number of (straight) guys who won’t
> accept anything less than anal, is, well, a bit bizarre?
>
> As for video porn competing with actual women, I tend to think it doesn’t.
> Studies show that most people still masturbate while in relationships (both
> men and women) because it’s not about the exact same thing as sex at all.
> So in a generally healthy person, I think porn is no big deal.
>
> I can’t say I watch very much because basically none of it is marketed
> toward me and has what I want in it. I still look at times (because, you
> know, the internet has everything, right?) but I rarely see anything I want
> to look at. “Oh, look at those abs” doesn’t really do it for me.
>
> Is robo-harlotry cheating? In my opinion, if the robot is non-sentient,
> no. If sentient, then yes. But some people view porn as cheating, so
> opinions will differ.
>
> > On Nov 15, 2018, at 11:34 AM, <spike at rainier66.com> <spike at rainier66.com>
> wrote:
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: extropy-chat <extropy-chat-bounces at lists.extropy.org> On Behalf
> Of SR Ballard
> > Subject: [ExI] [exl] Effect of National Geographic on Sexuality?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >> ...Now I always heard jokes, growing up, about how before the internet
> people used to buy the National Geographic magazine. And I thought it was
> just a joke. But it was mentioned on list a little while ago, but less as a
> joke and more as a fact.
> >
> >> ...Did this legitimately happen?
> >
> > Two terms you used didn't apply: men and buy.  I suspect plenty of us
> who were gazing with lust at Miss July 1957 were about age 12 at the time,
> and we didn't buy the magazines, we found them in the bound periodicals at
> the public library (NG stopped doing nudes with the March 1963 edition
> (which is why if you find a collection of bound NatGeos, the binding is in
> perfect condition from 1964 onwards but the 1957 edition is a tattered
> ruin.)  A grown man has money, so he would buy Playboy (for the articles of
> course.)  But Playboy wasn't available in our library or anywhere else if
> one is age 12 with no money in 1973.
> >
> >> ...And if it’s as widespread as the joke suggests, what effect do you
> think it had on the sexuality on the generation (2 generations?) of men who
> purchased these magazines?  Do you think it lead to an interest in
> inter-cultural marriage? Or a dehumanization of the cultures featured? Or
> something else? Or no real difference at all?
> >
> > Hard to say.  Even now with all the free ogleworthies available online,
> any style any anything you can think of is out there somewhere (if you know
> where, do let me know.)  I don't see that it causes any kind of
> dehumanization.  I don't see the truth in the argument of fifty-something
> wives who complain she has to compete with 19 yr old athletes.  I don't see
> how a video image competes with her.  I don't worry that my bride has
> access to video of men with way more and better stuff than I have.  Shrugs.
> >
> > Interesting aside: if roboharlots get good enough, we might have the
> opposite problem: humanization.  Humans will be competing with literal sex
> machines, and this time it won't be just men.  Reasoning: plenty of married
> people whose sense of morality would not permit visiting a harlot might
> have to think about it before deciding the same ethos applies to copulating
> with a robot.  Is that adultery?  I am ready to argue it isn't.  It's
> more...emmm... technology... evaluation.  Engineers do this kind of thing
> always.
> >
> > But I digress.
> >
> >> ...Are there studies done about it like we have studies of the effects
> of HD steaming internet porn?
> >
> > It would be interesting because the theories on the impact of free porn
> are contradictory.  One camp claims it distracts people (well, men) and
> anther claims it allows people (well men) to put things into perspective.
> Once one realizes that these video beauties are fun to look at but none of
> them are likely to be suitable long term life partners, it would cause
> people (men) to look beyond the chiseled abs and the tight buns.
> >
> > These gazeworthies are still fun to look at of course, but in the long
> run, we embrace our long term mates (I still do.)  My bride and I are
> approaching our 35th anniversary as the festival of Thanksgiving
> approaches, which is always an easy holiday for me, for I know I have
> plenty for which to be deeply and profoundly grateful: I know I am living
> my dream.  I don't see that anything is lost from that by an occasional
> gaze on the internet at the athletic bods and tight buns.
> >
> > SR what's your take on that please?
> >
> > spike
> >
> >
> >
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