[ExI] IQ and mental health

[SR Ballard]

I have been diagnosed with multiple conflicting things by multiple different professionals who examined me within days of each other. 

When I take my medicine, I am a normal person. I can be irritated, or happy, or lazy, or work hard. I can let things go. 

Without my medicine I am angry over the tiniest things for days, sleep odd hours, up for 3-4 days at a time, then sleep 16+ hours per day for a weeks on end. I can’t shower, brush my hair, feed myself. I get impulsive and have all kinds of personal issues. I once even fled the country. 

It’s insane how 100mg/day can completely change someone’s life. 

But I’ve also had to accept that my medicine makes me “stupid”. I can’t hyperfocus for days. I can’t think as quickly. I don’t free associate nearly as fluidly. 

I don’t think my IQ has been much of a benefit in relation to my mental health struggles. It’s actively created a lot of situations where people guilt, shame, or blame me for my struggles, when in a way, if I do not have my medicine, I really can’t do much about it. 

SR Ballard