[ExI] IQ and mental health

[Nuala Thomson]

In response to Bill,
I don't know how to quote text sorry.
First thing to remember as BPD is that any emotion I feel is double or more
than what "normal" people feel. So when I'm angry about something it's
usually rage. So foremost all my attention and focus is on controlling
impulses. Do not scream, do not throw anything, do not hurt anyone in any
way.
Then for the first day or so sitting in the emotion because it's a familiar
discomfort.
Then I start the process of logic. What am I *really* angry about? Did my
reaction fit the facts? Was this reaction amplified because I haven't been
looking after myself? Was I actually reacting to something else?
Then the process for moving forward starts with self care basics, changing
my body chemistry, and if I need to talk to the person about something I
write out my speech as factually as possible with no attacks, possibly with
an apology if I owe one, and schedule a meeting. But then I sit in the pain
until the meeting occurs. Yes, I schedule meetings with loved ones
regarding a topic so they can also prepare anything they might want to say.
It's quite similar for happiness as well though. So something that might
make a person smirk will put me in uncontrollable joy.
BPD is very akin to bipolar except my fluctuations are not over days or
weeks but can be just about instantaneous. It is draining.
But yes most of my energy goes to impulse control which is why it takes
longer.
I also don't know how long it takes other people and what other people do
to move past it.
Would you care to share your way?


On Sun., Aug. 29, 2021, 01:29 William Flynn Wallace via extropy-chat, <
extropy-chat at lists.extropy.org> wrote:

>  Emotions are still a base level instinctual reaction.
> Only partly true.  We have lots of conditioned emotions via the Pavlov
> technique of pairing a stimulus with an unconditioned stimulus.  Such as
> learned fears.  Road rage.  Which leads to the conclusion that if you can
> avoid stimuli that elicit anger you can help control that anger.
>
> I am interested to know just how you quash anger and why it takes you so
> long.  Not prying - just interested.  Any answer we can add to emotional
> controls is useful.  bill w
>
> On Sat, Aug 28, 2021 at 10:13 AM Nuala Thomson via extropy-chat <
> extropy-chat at lists.extropy.org> wrote:
>
>> I agree with both Brent and Bill.
>> I suffer from BPD which (simply put) means my emotions are usually
>> extremes and I'm very impulsive. I'm aware of it, I know how to cope with
>> it, I know how to resist impulses, I know when to keep my mouth shut, and
>> most importantly I knew something was wrong with me and to seek help and
>> get the training I needed to have some control. I'm very aware when I'm
>> irrational and it still takes me 2-3 days to get anger under control and
>> think like a rational and logical person.
>> So yes I agree IQ may help but only so far. Emotions are still a base
>> level instinctual reaction.
>> I think the situation, and self awareness play a big part on whether you
>> can help yourself or not, and whether you educate yourself, regardless of
>> subject matter. Which swings us back to IQ playing a part as I'm sure all
>> of us self-educate on any number of topics.
>> My latest topic of interest being negotiation vs compromise and contracts
>> for long-term relationships. It makes sense to me as it takes out all of
>> the possible mind-reading, and lays clear wants, needs, and expectations.
>> Off topic.
>> Life, emotions, thinking patterns and behaviours are all dialectic. There
>> is no right or wrong.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On Sat., Aug. 28, 2021, 11:23 William Flynn Wallace via extropy-chat, <
>> extropy-chat at lists.extropy.org> wrote:
>>
>>> Just think about it:  IQ means a lot of adaptability to new situations
>>> and ability to generalize to new ways of dealing with problems, emotional
>>> and otherwise.  Ideas are just ways of thinking about something in the
>>> abstract.  The cognitive side cannot completely control the emotional side,
>>> but having more ideas helps a lot.  I have always climbed out of my
>>> problems by myself, with one small exception - saw a psych.  for one visit
>>> and decided that I could come up with ideas as well as he could.  IQ helps
>>> mental health - no doubt.  bill w
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> extropy-chat mailing list
>>> extropy-chat at lists.extropy.org
>>> http://lists.extropy.org/mailman/listinfo.cgi/extropy-chat
>>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> extropy-chat mailing list
>> extropy-chat at lists.extropy.org
>> http://lists.extropy.org/mailman/listinfo.cgi/extropy-chat
>>
> _______________________________________________
> extropy-chat mailing list
> extropy-chat at lists.extropy.org
> http://lists.extropy.org/mailman/listinfo.cgi/extropy-chat
>
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.extropy.org/pipermail/extropy-chat/attachments/20210901/c202ce28/attachment.htm>