[Paleopsych] The Dangers of Thinking

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The Dangers of Thinking

This was written by a person who just finished his PHD dissertation in
the U.S....

It started out innocently enough.
I began to think at parties now and then...just to loosen up. Inevitably
though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a
social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to relax,"
I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking
and working don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.
I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it
exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either.
One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning
of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me
in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your
thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the
job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think
about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I
confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," She snapped "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," She added, lower lip aquiver.
"You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't
make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.

I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out
the door. I drove off, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the
radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors
... they didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe
that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining
your life?" Most of you no doubt recognize that line.
It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is how I
became what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video. Last week, it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how
we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed ... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

Soon, I'll be able to vote for the Republicans.