[extropy-chat] Bloke No; Baby Yes

[Emlyn]

On 26/09/05, Olga Bourlin <fauxever at sprynet.com> wrote:
> From: "Emlyn" <emlynoregan at gmail.com>
>
> > "People want everything now. If they can't have a baby now, they want IVF.
> > They think it's no different from putting your name down for a handbag.
> > Some people are horrified by the idea that they have to have sex two to
> > three times a week. About 10 per cent of people I see don't have time to
> > have sex. It's usually when you have two professionals who are based in
> > the city and are very busy."
>
> > Here's a clue from a parent...> IF you don't have time to have sex two or
> > three times a week> THEN you don't have time to have a child.  > I pity
> > their offspring.
>
> Oh, I don't know.  There may be many reasons why some women may choose this
> course.
>

I have absolutely no problem with most of those reasons. No partner,
that's fine. Can't conceive, that's fine. etc etc. I couldn't care
less if you are talking about a single woman, a hetero couple, a gay
male couple, or half a dozen married-to-each-other-mormons. If you can
love the child and can put the time in, go ahead.

The only problem I have is with this: "About 10 per cent of people I
see don't have time to have sex. It's usually when you have two
professionals who are based in the city and are very busy." Again,
I'll say that if you have no other issue than that you don't have time
to have sex, you aren't fit to be a parent. You've got to change your
life drastically before you will be. Well off people with no time for
their kids really rate low on the parent scale IMO.

> e.g., from Marilyn Vos Savant's March 11, 2001 column in Parade Magazine:
>
> Question:  Do you think it's proper for a financially independent single
> woman to use a man to father her child with his consent and then purposely
> raise the child on her own?
>
> Answer:  Plenty of women get married and have children, then get divorced
> and would be delighted never to see the men again - so I don't see what's so
> different about the scenario you describe, except that there may be less
> trauma for all concerned!
>
> Yes, I think this modern family style is acceptable, but I think the woman
> should select an anonymous donor (artificial insemination) instead of a
> known sperm donor, in order to avoid any possibly future complications with
> him.  In addition, if she later finds the man of her dreams and gets
> married, her husband will then be able to become a father to her child much
> more easily.

I think either way is fine. There are men out there who explicitly
agree to this arrangement and have lots of kids for whom they have no
duty of care. I agree with you though that the IVF route has less
potential complications.

> P.S.  A single friend of mine made this choice, and her child is one lucky
> youngster to have such a warm, loving and capable parent to raise him.  She
> is easily one of the finest mothers I know.

That sounds like a great family.

--
Emlyn

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