[ExI] Transparent Frog (not yet Invisible Men, Alas...)

Stefano Vaj stefano.vaj at gmail.com
Thu Sep 27 19:45:02 UTC 2007

Japanese to patent transparent frogBoffins in mutant albino batrachian IP
brouhahaBy Lewis

Japanese boffins have used artificial insemination to breed mutant frogs
with transparent skin. The scientists reckon this will make biological
research - not to mention school biology lessons - signifcantly less messy
and traumatic, as it will no longer be necessary to cut the slime-filled
creatures up in order to examine their innards.

"You can watch organs of the same frog over its entire life as you don't
have to dissect it," enthused noted Hiroshima University* sunroof-amphibian
man Professor Masayuki Sumida, according to

Sumida and his team of batrachian-bothering boffins produced the new
see-through-packaged critters by breeding carefully selected mutant albino
frogs. The pale-skinned pond dwellers' offspring came out opaque owing to
the presence of dominant regular-type genes, but by breeding these genetic
carrier frogs together the crafty researchers obtained breakthrough
batrachians with built-in windows.

It seems the new special frogs - derived from regulation *rena
japonica*japanese browns - are transparent even as tadpoles. This
provides hours of
fun for committed frog fanciers as "you can see dramatic changes of organs
when tadpoles mutate into frogs", according to Sumida. He believes the
secret of the see-through creatures will be so commercially valuable that he
plans to patent them.

It might seem impossible to prevent unscrupulous breeders producing
illegally pirated sunroof-frog copies to be sold in supermarket carparks,
but in fact Sumida's biotech has built-in BRM (Batrachian Rights
Management). The glassy frogs can have children, also transparent, but the
following generation die at birth. If you want to look at a frog's guts
without slicing it up, you'll have to pay licensing.

Sumida's plans don't stop there. He reckons a move forward from simple
eugenics to actual genetic modification could produce new and still more
innovative frog technology. The good professor envisaged an exciting new
type of transparent amphibian which would glow luminously when it developed
cancer, for instance.

Obviously, glowing see-through cancerous batrachians are great; but indeed
this news is no surprise when one considers the other amazing capabilities
of the moist miniature marsh-dwellers (for instance the ability to sweat
hallucinogenic drugs, antiseptic ointment, insect repellent, or even

Surely it can't be long until some clever scientist employs Sumida's
patented batrachian boffinry to develop a pocket-sized variety which can
dispense a refreshing mindbending chemical, be used to stick notes to the
fridge, deal with insect bites, and light up a dark hallway. One would be
able to tell how much loopy juice, glue etc was left in the little fellow's
reservoirs simply by looking, of course. And in extremis the adaptable
amphibian could be sold to a passing Frenchman as a tasty snack.

Frogs. Is there anything they can't do? (r)

*There's no connection between local availability of mutant frogs and the
1945 bucket of sunshine from the States, apparently.>>

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