[ExI] Getting Laid

Alan Grimes agrimes at speakeasy.net
Mon Dec 27 03:11:06 UTC 2010

Ben Zaiboc wrote:
> I've changed the subject line, as this has drifted quite a bit!

It's also way OT... I'll leave it to you keep it on list or take it off.

> Alan Grimes <agrimes at speakeasy.net> wrote:

> Rubbish.

> I have no real experience with on-line dating, so don't know
> if it's better or worse than meeting people IRL, but I suspect it's worse.

I don't know how to meet people in real life at all. =( I don't know
where to go. I've been to social situations but I never can seem to get
into any conversations, I just tend to haunt the place for a while and
then leave out of boredom and frustration. SL has the advantage that I
know people are actually seeing the words I type until they ignore me.
(if they're at their keyboards at all.

> Most guys are bad at this sort of thing. Always have been, always will be, but it
> doesn't matter.  You only need someone to like one thing about you. As
long as you
> don't have some kind of show-stopper, like terminal bad breath or a
tendency to hit
> people at random (both fixable), that one thing will win the lady.  Or
a different one.
> Don't fixate too much on one person, get to know lots, and a mutual
interest is bound
> to emerge somewhere or other.

Yeah, I guess I'm a bit to eclectic, into vacuum tube audio, and
electric cars. (I'm currently trying to mount an AC-50 motor in a Mazda

>> I have a null feedback signal. There is no way to apply any
>> kind of
>> hill-climbing algorithm. It's still purely monte-carlo for
>> me. =(

> You're saying you can't tell whether you are pissing someone off or interesting them?
> Fine, use a different metric.  If they touch you at less than the
speed of sound, it's a good
> thing.  If they leave without a word, it's bad.  There's your feedback.

No, I'm saying that I don't meet any so therefore I get no feedback of
any kind. =(

>> That is functionally equivalent to saying "don't come
>> back". =(

> Only if you're going to be defeatist about it.

I've wasted too much money on dating sites to feel otherwise.

> Extropians don't do defeatism.

It isn't like any technical problem. Technical problems can be
addressed. Relationships, on the other hand, are notoriously illogical
and do not yield to any reductionist approach.

Actually, honestly, part of my problem is fear. I've been hesitant to
really get involved myself because of the ph34r that she will hurt me if
she can't accept the kinds of kinks I have. =\ Now that I've taken more
of a "damn the torpedoes" attitude, I'm just frustrated. I'm really
seeing the psychological toll a life of solitude is taking on me and I
need to do something. It's just not the kind of problem I'm equipped to

Powers are not rights.

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