[ExI] sex again

[SR Ballard]

I wasn’t looking for any practical suggestions, but thank you. It was very nice.

As far as asexuality goes, in this context it just means a lack of sexual attraction. It doesn’t mean you can’t orgasm. It also doesn’t mean you don’t feel a romantic love for other people. Most asexual people have sex with their partners simply to please / cater to them. It has not been sexually selected against, probably because of expectations that women will “do their duty”. Which I think has been an expectation before marriage was really a thing. 

Low / non-existent sexual desire affects about 1 in 10 women. Thank god I’m not one of them.

SR Ballard

> On Dec 14, 2019, at 2:02 PM, William Flynn Wallace via extropy-chat <extropy-chat at lists.extropy.org> wrote:
> 
> There are no asexual people. Period.  Have I experimented with over 7 billion people?  Well, no, but....
> 
> It depends like anything else on how you define it.  I had a young man in my college class who revealed to me that he and his new wife had sex once a month and presumably wanted to know my opinion of that.  I assured him that it was OK.  People have different sex drives, though I would certainly like to have heard from his wife on the subject.  That's one way to define it - very low sex drive, which might be a matter of hormones or even technique.  A woman virgin gets married, has a two minute man as a husband, never even gets aroused (foreplay?  what's that?  Jewish joke - 30 minutes of begging, told to me by a Jew). and decides that she is asexual.
> 
> A full 25% of married women has NEVER had an orgasm.  Men - go hide your heads, or conversely, get them out of the sand.  Asexual or lousy mate?
> 
> Reduced sensation - it could be that an orgasm is not fireworks for everyone.  "Is that all there is?  Is that all there is my friends, so keep on dancing, break out the booze" - thanks Peggy Lee."
> 
> But zero sex drive?  No ability to get erections and arousal?  No orgasms by any means (some take a vibrator and lots of time)?  Nah.  Don't believe it.
> 
> bill w
> 
>> On Sat, Dec 14, 2019 at 1:32 PM spike jones via extropy-chat <extropy-chat at lists.extropy.org> wrote:
>>  
>> 
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>> > On Behalf Of Adrian Tymes via extropy-chat
>> Subject: Re: [ExI] sex again
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> On Sat, Dec 14, 2019 at 7:25 AM SR Ballard via extropy-chat <extropy-chat at lists.extropy.org> wrote:
>> 
>> I, myself, find myself somewhere “stuck in the middle”. Not trans enough for surgery to do any good, not cis enough to be comfortable. What is there to do for it? 
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> >…Be what you are.  If neither a female nor a male body plan would suit you, then use what you've got (it's cheaper than and as effective as switching, plus you're already familiar with it) and try not to worry about gender-specific elements (save for any medical issues specific to whatever you've got).  Agender, asexual, and aromantic people exist…
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>> We have made good progress just having a name for it.  Consider the scenario: Leisure Suit Larry is schmoozing someone at the office and can’t seem to get that he doesn’t do it for her. 
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>> She says: Save it Leisure.  I am asexual. 
>> 
>> He: You are a sexual what? 
>> 
>> She: Asexual, one word.  Google on it, come back and talk after you educate yourself.
>> 
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>> She could even do this with a pleasant demeanor and nice smile, to maintain cordial relations at the office.  If Leisure starts schmoozing her again, she tells him he apparently went to a faulty source, try again.
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>> Having a name for something helps a hundred ways.  Back in the old days before Aspergers, the socially awkward were mixed with those of us who like computers and math.  Now those two things can be differentiated because of the name.  Nerd and geek became titles to be earned.  We can get those and we automatically get the socially awkward component free.  It’s great.  I love modern times.
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>> spike
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