[ExI] brown alerts: new earthquake alert system

spike at rainier66.com spike at rainier66.com
Thu Sep 15 20:01:44 UTC 2022



From: spike at rainier66.com <spike at rainier66.com> 
Subject: brown alerts: new earthquake alert system



>.Hey cool, the earthquake alert system works.






>.So the USGS is apparently doing exactly what I had envisioned: set up a
network of these seismos, give the proles a few seconds to repent of their
sins, perhaps scream or grab the urn with grandma's ashes, that sorta thing.
We already have amber alerts for missing endangered children and silver
alerts for missing endangered geezers.  They could call the earthquake
system brown alerts, for . em. well, yellow was already taken and . spike



Wait, I realized that brown alert notion won't work.  The amber alert and
the silver alert have the same sound to get your attention (oooh it works
(because it is really loud (and makes ya jump outta your damn skin.)))  If
we set it up so that a brown alert makes the same sound as the other two
colors, you know what would happen, ja?  Some snarky old bahstid hoping to
raise some excellent hell will set up video cameras at the office, go out
somewhere, call in a silver alert on himself, record his young colleagues
diving under tables, send it in to America's Funniest Home Videos.  Then if
I get cau. uh.rather, if HE gets caught, HE could play senile old bahstid,
claim HE really was lost in HIS own neighborhood, which isn't MY
neighborhood.  Necessarily.


Dang.  Never work.


There aughta be a way to send a specific vocal message, one that would
specifically say "Earthquake, take cover young fools" or something like
that, a message to offer a useful warning but stop snarky geezers from using
it to play gags on the proles.







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