[Paleopsych] "girly-men" and "manly-girls"

Alice Andrews aandrews at hvc.rr.com
Sat Oct 30 20:31:33 UTC 2004

Hi Paul and Michael, Just got your recent posts but have busy Halloween
weekend... but I plan to get back to them soon, as I had plenty of reactions
to them...
ps Michael, I'm in complete agreement with your view on the persona stuff
etc etc. And, oddly, though it may not be AS difficult as it would be for
you, since you're a man, it still is difficult to put ideas out there so
vulnerably etc etc, in part because I'm an academic. The only model I've had
and the only one which seems to exist for putting out ideas is male-based
and all about certitude and strength.....in a word: fuzzless. And so....It
is an uncomfortable position regardless of my gender...But it is also
somewhat comfortable because of my sex....

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Michael Christopher" <anonymous_animus at yahoo.com>
To: <paleopsych at paleopsych.org>
Sent: Saturday, October 30, 2004 3:56 PM
Subject: [Paleopsych] "girly-men" and "manly-girls"

> >>Re the wimp factor: I think that these recent posts
> of mine are pretty wimpy...You're not likely to hear a
> man say "my Floresian-sized brain" or "I'm grappling"
> or "I don't think that was what I was talking about
> but maybe it was." These were all genuine feelings I
> had, which I expressed reluctantly, knowing that to
> male ear it would either be seen as phony (from
> projection--since when do they ever feel such
> things?!!!!), or manipulative in some way--since I'm a
> woman and why else express a weakness if not for some
> gain?????<<
> --Great insights. If it's any consolation, I am a male
> and I'll tell you that men do a great deal of editing
> out their indecision and "wimpish" aspects, and that
> what you see is a persona based on feedback from the
> world (as in Arnold's trite use of the "girly-man"
> cliche to appeal to insecure, "butch" males). Wise men
> use that filtering and feedback in a creative way,
> cultivating a masculine aesthetic that covertly
> promotes "feminine" perspectives. A lot of male rock
> stars do that. Eminem is a nurturer, despite his image
> as a rebel. A lot of the men who seem so extremely
> masculine are really scabbing over an injured playful,
> intuitive and/or feminine side. A lot of women, for
> their part, go out of their way to appear feminine or
> react against it by filtering out "girly" mannerisms.
> Either way, it's a compromise between what's inside
> and what the outside world rewards or punishes. There
> are a thousand subtle punishments for coloring outside
> the gender lines, and a thousand little rewards for
> each gender to act out a decisively one-sided role. In
> today's political climate, it's not so subtle at all.
> Michael
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