[Paleopsych] "girly-men" and "manly-girls"
anonymous_animus at yahoo.com
Sat Oct 30 19:56:33 UTC 2004
>>Re the wimp factor: I think that these recent posts
of mine are pretty wimpy...You're not likely to hear a
man say "my Floresian-sized brain" or "I'm grappling"
or "I don't think that was what I was talking about
but maybe it was." These were all genuine feelings I
had, which I expressed reluctantly, knowing that to
male ear it would either be seen as phony (from
projection--since when do they ever feel such
things?!!!!), or manipulative in some way--since I'm a
woman and why else express a weakness if not for some
--Great insights. If it's any consolation, I am a male
and I'll tell you that men do a great deal of editing
out their indecision and "wimpish" aspects, and that
what you see is a persona based on feedback from the
world (as in Arnold's trite use of the "girly-man"
cliche to appeal to insecure, "butch" males). Wise men
use that filtering and feedback in a creative way,
cultivating a masculine aesthetic that covertly
promotes "feminine" perspectives. A lot of male rock
stars do that. Eminem is a nurturer, despite his image
as a rebel. A lot of the men who seem so extremely
masculine are really scabbing over an injured playful,
intuitive and/or feminine side. A lot of women, for
their part, go out of their way to appear feminine or
react against it by filtering out "girly" mannerisms.
Either way, it's a compromise between what's inside
and what the outside world rewards or punishes. There
are a thousand subtle punishments for coloring outside
the gender lines, and a thousand little rewards for
each gender to act out a decisively one-sided role. In
today's political climate, it's not so subtle at all.
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